granpa

september 22 2008 granpa died, i havent quite mourned. and i havent gone to the cemetery. i love you and miss you.. here is my memory of you..

dear grandpa,

          remember when i was a little girl and on christmas day i would sit on your lap and dip my windmill cookies in your coffee? we would watch M.A.S.H. and those old western flicks you loved so much! remember how we would curl up in your chair together and sleep? or how about when we would go four wheeling out in the dunes and work on the old car in the garage. do you remember how you would sing "good morning to you " ever morning to me when i woke up, or how you would come and jump on the bed and tickle me to get up. grandpa do you remember that one day when you took me out to practice driving that big ford F250 and you made me learn how to paralell park that beast, you said "if you can drive this truck you can drive anything", remember i passed my drivers test! remember when you moved away, i cried that day because that was my home too. but i understood you needed change. remember how you called me on my 17th birthday and sang to me. little didi know that was our last birthday together. our last year together. i shouldve made the best of it, but you were suppose to live  forever. dear granpa remember when i held your hand at the hospital and told you its ok everyone will be fine. you were cold and blue. remember how i told you to breathe, im right here! you didnt respond, remember how i told you i would love you forever? i do i will and i cant forget you. remember my dream, you came to me at a fair, we talked and i cried and we played super heros. remember you told me everything was ok. and you loved me? i feel like im falling apart. i need you granpa. more than anything. i miss you.. why couldnt you breathe, why did my last image of you have to be in a church. why did we have to do that? do you remember how i tried holding myself together. im about to break. i am trying so hard. i love you

Author's Note

not quite a story a letter