Always You

Not a poem just a few paragraphs of letting my feelings out.

I can't describe my feelings anymore. In fact I can't even describe them to myself. It seems everything is going so fast now and I can't stop anything anymore. When will it all stop? Is this just what happens, that everything seems to move so much faster the older you get?
It appears so.
But there will always be things that I won't ever forget. The things that matter most in my life. I'm not saying anything that you can buy with money, lust, greed, or any sorts of unimportant issues in life. I know when I look back in life I will only be thinking of the people and things that changed me and made me into who I'm lived up to be.
One person will always float through my mind in my weak moments, my angry moments, my strong moments, my sad moments, and my happy moments. That
person isn't someone who I will expect anything from, anything in return of my gratitude. That person is the best person I've ever known despite the mistakes that
they have made along the road.
This person has given me strength- this person has given me life. I know it probably wasn't meant to be, and you know what, that's okay. I'm not expecting this person to come running back to me with open arms and begging for my forgiveness and love. No, I don't expect or anticipate on that happening at all.
But all I do know is the love I gave, the tears I gave, and the heart I gave.
Love isn't wanting the person next to you to die for you. Love is willing to die for the person next to you, even if it means they could care less.
That person is locked away deep inside my heart and soul forever. It wasn't easy, it was actually the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It made me physically,
mentally, and emotionally exhausted. There would be nights where I wouldn't just cry myself to sleep; my dreams would be filled with tears and sorrow and ache
for this person.
There will be random moments in the day where I will gaze at a familiar movement, or a similar laugh or voice, or the way someone carries themself or maybe even the way they greet a friend, it will remind me, and this person's face pops up in my head. Suddenly the emotions start rising and my brain will start searching for the key that unlocks the door to everything I have already put away. So then it stops, even if it kills me.
Sometimes this person's touch will set the electricity off once again, and my heart will begin to feel alive, as if it was never broken. But of course, it must stop and I can feel my soul's disappointment.
The voice, the smell, the touch, the laugh, the eyes, the smile: the weakness.
The jokes, the agony, the tears, the bullets, the pierces, the thorns: the fall.
My tears, my special moments, my hardwork and my celebrations are all reminders of this person and what they've given me: life and love.
My thoughts are always with this person, and nothing will change how I think, act, laugh, and cry.
And that person has always been you. 

Author's Note

Please comment if you have any comments/suggestions :]]]

Reviews

[-Aurelia Mirella]

...I am left speechless. Really Hannah, I wish you could"ve seen my face as I read this lovely essay of yours. It is like you visited a section of my brain and decided to write a biography about it...

All those feelings that you felt; I've felt. I know what tears you cried, what sleepless nights you suffered. I know what it's all about. I've been there and I know, and it hurts me to know you're going through such a horrible, horrible exprience.


But Hannah let me tell you something whether you chose to believe it or not, you'll get through it. Hang in there Hannah. If you love that person..if you truley, honest to your God, love that person, hang in there...

I'd be more than happy to share with you anything. If you need help, anything, I'm here. Please, if I can help in any way, don't be afraid to ask.

Siempre,
-Aurelia Mirella