Black Sheep

There's pain behind my smile.

I've gotten good at hiding it.

When people think I'm happiest,

I'm really screaming on the inside.

Your lectures have gotten worse.

The empty words of apology..

The scolding you continue to bring,

It's killing me.

It's hard to see clearly,

when I've got so much on my mind.

I'm so quick to please,

but my efforts prove futile.

Nothing I do is good enough.

You think you're helping me but you're not.

My downfall is my caring and gentle heart,

But every time, it lets me down.

I try to turn to my family for help.

They can only say so much.

But I can see that they feel the same way.

What's left when you don't even have family to support you?

My friends, they try.

But their words of advice never seem to cure this ache.

The longing for my family to accept me,

A family to accept my dreams and hopes.

But what is my dreams and hopes to them?

Another thought of my failure?

Indeed, it's been thoughts of the past,

But I've proved them wrong and still... Nothing.

The false hope I hold in my heart,

When I think I've done something to make you proud!

The disappointment strikes harder than lighting,

Making me crumble to the ground.

What is there left for me?

A lonely black sheep,

One who strays from the family.

Eventually... They'll lose me all together.

They're just pushing me further and further away.

Author's Note

Yeeah.....

Reviews

[Patricia]

Oh wow, this is so painful to read and I am so sorry you feel this kind of pain and I understand it very well. You put it to poetry well and it will help so keep pushing the pen. Keep pushing for your own fulfillment. Sometimes we can't please our parents or others and so we just have to make our own way and it ain't easy, I know. I left home at fifteen with no where to go but I made my own happiness and fought for my own happiness and I did it the hard way and would never recommend it all but you can make your own happiness, find a good place inside yourself and grow outward from that. If you try to please others that can't be pleased let go of that and be the good person you are and fight for your own bliss. Stay focused, stay firm, stand tall. You are worthy, you are beautiful, and you have a right to happiness. HUGS!

[Cierra]

Thank you so much for those words!!!

[Patricia]

You are welcome sweetie and you can write me anytime if you need to vent. I will always answer maybe not that moment but I will answer as soon as I can. :)

[Cierra]

Thank you so much! :)

[NoelHC]

Be strong, these words you write show the pain and hurt so well, I hope you will see your way to the end of this time in your life.
And as is my usual habit, one edit lighting, should be lightning

: )