My Sweet Little Crime

To Him

The insanity that fills me  Is only of you. The friction, the denial Has only but grew I see you from a distance Yet I see you so near. I don’t want to hurt you For you are too dear.  And as my hand travels further  Through the cracks of time I see nothing but you My sweet little crime.

Author's Note

What I wish I felt

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear unjust_poetry,

I have to agree with Cole. We need more information to understand your poem fully. The poem as it stands is wonderful. The wording and painted mood is excellent. What your readers pine for is understanding. Poetry is baring of the soul. So please share with us. We await your wisdom and the unfolding of your understanding, experience, and knowledge. Teach us! Right now we are currently waiting expectantly. We need another stanza or two. I know they are there within you. We can feel them below the surface struggling to get out. Release them!

A wonderful poem, but waiting for full fruition. I'm giving this a 95 rating in full expectation of the stanzas to come (and since we can't change our ratings), but really right now it's an 85. The poem is wonderful, but there is a feeling of incompleteness. We long (and need) more. I hope to review this again when the new stanzas come. Please (really) write them!

Best regards,

Rick

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Sorry it took me so long to review this. Deep, and heartfelt. Nicely written. A great write!

[shyamchat]

I liked this poem . Cute.

I felt there is a disconnect between the theme of this poem and :
'.....
And as my hand travels further
Through the cracks of time
....'

May be you can think of replacing this imagery?

[xRetroCortx]

i agree with basketball girl! beautiful write.

[FoolsGold23]

It's a bit sparse, nice metaphors, but bland, a little history or explanation would be nice. good work otherwise.~P

[Zach Colgate]

I didn't understand this poem either, but that's cool.
The lines are beautiful, all meaning aside. Good work.

[SamBug]

This was so beautiful. Keep writing forever! Don't listen to those critics. We dont need much information to feel the beauty in this. Great job!

[Cole Spire]

it's a good poem. I just wish i understood it more.

I get that this is a crime probably only you and one other person know, but it definitly asks the question of "What did you do?"

cole-