Sonnet 1

Sonnet 1

A Poem by Jeremy Baker

Welcome to Terra Pro Zac, land of my ancestors and countrymen!

A big land, for big men (not to mention, big pharmaceuticals!)

We have pills galore, for every ailment, from the common to the rare

and we even cater for those that don’t exist; not yet, anyway.

We specialise in the alleviation of every ill, every worry, every blemish

and the preservation of our profits, so necessary for our R & D, of course.

From a gelatinous mix of colours, preservatives and re-uptake inhibitors, we

foment a revolution in near-medicine, with noxious power in a pill.

 

With all the verve of a street hawker, our little blue pills will give you a lift

and brighten your day. Or calm you down. Or help you think.

Or eliminate pimples. Or banish cellulite. Or ward off evil spirits.

Thank God for our marketing - you need not go on living in ignorance.

Read our brochure. Watch our commercials. Take time to think it over -

just one pill a day and you could be the next great Casanova.

© 2011 Jeremy Baker


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Featured Review

Loved these lines. I was snickering and laughing out loud that this whole poem. With all the verve of a street hawker, our little blue pills will give you a lift
and brighten your day.

We depend way too much on pharmaceutical drugs in order to get through out lives and this can cause great issues else where. The other line that had me rolling with laughter is this one.

Take time to think it over -
just one pill a day and you could be the next great Casanova.

You took this challenge in a more light heart and at time serious feel. You ahve done an excellent job. 100%


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I LOVE IT that you can say this in a poem... "ur little blue pills will give you a lift
and brighten your day. Or calm you down. Or help you think.
Or eliminate pimples. Or banish cellulite. Or ward off evil spirits."

I think of all these things and would not had even thought to write it like this. I absolutely love this piece. You have me laughing here at 6am when I should be sleeping... fantastic, funny and it makes you think.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Good job. you really put a much needed smile on my face . you selling viagra? 'big pharmaceuticals ' 'big men' 'great casanova' ? lol nice read. thanks for sharing!

Posted 12 Years Ago


haha nice write with great humor and giggles, this was nicely done and different, keeping the reader in each line with that great humor we need to read sometimes :D

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is great, I love it! Really love the last line, we've seen all THOSE commercials! The sarcasm and humor is perfect and there is such truth to your words and so many people fall for this, some fall all the way. Those that are lucky are the ones that survive the damage. I think this is outstanding in every way. I sure enjoyed reading your poem!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Excellent imagery filled with worldly truth!

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is a very good poem. However it's not working as a sonnet. I'll explain what I mean. For one a sonnet it not an easy style to write a poem in. There are guidelines and rules for a sonnet that are sometimes hard to nail and still make the poem good. For instance (from my knowledge) there are two different types of sonnets (through they are formal). One is the Petrarchan style sonnet. And this sonnet style has an octave of 8 lines (which i see you have in the first stanza) and a seset of six lines (which is in your last stanza). Being that I see you have this format I am going to assume that this is the style of sonnet that you were going for. Though you have the structure of lines for this sonnet correct the poem is lacking a rhyme scheme of any kind to label it as a sonnet. For example the rhyme scheme of the first stanza should have been in ABABCDCD for the first stanza and for the last is should be CDECDE.The other sonnet is a Shakespearean sonnet. Unlike the Petrarchan sonnet this one has no true structure to it but its final couplets (last two lines) make it different. Also the rhyme scheme is different; it is ABABCDCDEFEFGG.Though the poem isn't a sonnet to me it is still a great poem and a beautiful work. It is beautifully written and I love the first stanza. The sarcasm drips from the poem and makes it entertaining. I enjoyed reading this work.


Posted 12 Years Ago


I loved the first line "Welcome to Terra Pro Zac.."
Your poems are very different from everyone's :)
Great work!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A satirical and guested piece, well done, a great read.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Very tongue-in-cheek! Love the sarcasm and humor while underlying the biting aspect of a pill-popping society. Reminds me of a short essay I wrote called "A Torrid Love Affair" about my experience with pills and doctors pushing them...one to fix the symptom, one to fix the symptom of the first pill, and so on. Don't you know that a little blue pill is the cure-all for what ails you?

Posted 12 Years Ago



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28 Reviews
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Added on June 29, 2011
Last Updated on June 30, 2011

Author

Jeremy Baker
Jeremy Baker

Busselton, South West, Australia



About
I'm a former English & Literature teacher who has always enjoyed the magic, power and simple romance of words well written. My favourite writers include Pablo Neruda, Liam O'Flaherty, Anthony Eaton.. more..

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