The Hunt

She wakes up and stares at the well and says: * sigh * here we go again, I hope I will receive good news today.

she left and went to her weekly doctors appointment for her illness which was Sickle Cell Anemia, after the check up and the imaging that the doctor and the nurses have done for her, she had a sudden optimistic feeling about todays test because lately she hasn't felt any of the Symptoms being too severe lately.

She was sitting with the doctor and the doctor was giving her the good news that her Sickle Cell Anemia disorder is shaping to normal, and she was happy and knew why she had that sudden feeling of optimism, as the doctor was giving her the good news, he stopped talking and had a distressed look on his face and told her that, the some of the bad blood cells has spread into her body and they have contained them but, during the imaging they have discovered that it has spread to her brain and causing a brain tumor.

The doctor has told her that, they cant do anything about it and she has only 5 days until the tumor totally takes over the brain cells, So yes the doctor has told her that she only has 5 days to live...

She looks down and goes out, not telling anyone about this and keeping it as a secret she goes to her fiancées apartment and sits with him on the balcony on a breezy day.

Babe? what would you do if I only had 5 days to live?

I would Shoot or find a way to kill  myself to be with you always.

She smiled and kisses him and hugs him with years in her eyes.

She decided to spend the night with him at his place.

next day in the early morning,

she got up and as he was sleeping she took his knives and pistol away and anything else that he might use to kill or hurt himself when he discovers the truth.

By the time he wake up, she's not there, she's no where to be seen.

He has noticed something under her pillow and it was a letter with rose petals around it.

He sees that the letter was a scavenger hunt that would take him exactly 5 days to complete.

The last item on the list was to find her.

As he smiles he starts the hunt by following the trail of roses leading him to the balcony where they stay most of their time.

The next hunt takes him to the park, where they first met 2 years ago and he finds another clue which takes him to a coffee shop where they both go usually, yet again he finds another clue that takes him to a restaurant where they had their first date. He was confused and was looking for the next clue and remembered where they sat when they came here and he goes to the same table and finds another clue hidden between the napkins, next clue takes him to the same park but by the lake this time where he proposed to her, he finds another clue that takes him to a garden and that garden had a lot of rose petals scattered on the floor and on the end of it was a trail made by these petals.

He follows the petals and it leads him back to his apartment, he opens the door and the trail still leads him somewhere, as he follows it, it took him to his bed room where he saw her sleeping on the bed already. And next to her, there was a box with a letter attached to it that reads this:

my dear love,

if you found this letter it means that you are done with the hunt and I'm already in the heavens, while looking at you sleeping 5 days ago when I spent the night with you, I planned a scavenger hunt so that you wouldn't find out that I was dying from a brain tumor. I didn't want to see you worry yourself nor did I want to be the cause of your death. I left a little something in the box and I hope that you can forgive me for not spending my last waking moments with you in your arms. I hope that you can forgive me and continue with your life with our memory.

Signed

Your love forever

P.S

I will always have loved you with all of my heart, Remember, check the box and don't shed any tear for me.

He opened the box and finds a a gun and 2 dozen of hybrid tea roses. In the middle, there was a note that said:

I will always love you even from the heavens above. I really hope that you'll make the right choice.

He took the gun and stared at it thinking, "right choice ha.."

he put away the gun and took her and the roses, he buried  her at the garden where she left the first buried petals  of the petals trail and he kept the roses on her grave. As promised he didn't shed a single tear even though it was killing him inside.

He burst in tears and took the gun and shot him self right on her grave just so he can be close to her..

When his soul went to the heavens, he sees her standing there and looking at him with a smile as he entered through the pearly gates.

As she smiled with a tear in her eyes she said: I thought you were going yo do the right thing..

He stares into her eyes saying: I did, my love for you has gotten me reunited with you again in the heavens.

Reviews

[JayG]

First: you must edit your work before you post it. Such things as forgetting to capitalize the first letter of the second sentence make you look lazy. If your reader is going to give you their time, you have to take the time to get the basics like punctuation and spelling and things like that right.

But above that, writing fiction is not even close to the kind of writing you learn in school. All of those reports and essays that you wrote, were meant to inform… In other words they are non-fiction.

The goal of fiction isn’t to make the reader know what happens. It’s to make the reader live the story in real time, from with in the moment the protagonist calls now. And we learned not the smallest part of how to do that in our school days.

I applaud your desire to write fiction, but, if you are to do that you need to take the time to look into the basics of writing in the style that fiction requires. Your local library‘s fiction writing section he’s a great place to begin.

[Joey Nizz]

Thank you for your comments, Ill keep it in mind for future writings.