Gone so wrong

Gone so wrong

A Poem by Jackie
"

Where have i gone so wrong

"
What have i done, where have i 
gone so wrong. It feels so numb. 
Hasn't been like this all along
I try my best, my damndest 
and for me to stay strong

But no matter what I'm struggling 
to keep it together. Of what i gather
I dont understand the content of the endeaver
Sometimes i think i would be better 
if i didn't bite off more than i could chew
But now what can i do. I mean, 
I could leave... 

But the truth is... It's just not me. Plus...
I couldn't breathe and with so many feats
I couldn't...I couldn't walk away with these challenges
The story would be incomplete. In other words
it would be absurd

So i suffer. My heart flutters. 
I will continue to uncover my truth. 
My wounds

So I will walk through the storm
Or even crawl considering it's form
I will fight to keep my head high
I will not lie, i will continue to try
And stay true to what i feel inside
I will not hide. I can not run away
I will keep writing till it's all okay


Dec 2nd, 2017
Jackie Gunnin

© 2017 Jackie


Author's Note

Jackie
As i was saying previously. A lot went on yesterday. Hope y'all enjoy

My Review

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Featured Review

Second stanza... the transition from the first to second line is fucked.

I bet this would be awesome if you applied a little 'word economy' touch.

It reads too much like a broken up paragraph than a poem.

The intellectual content is totally fine; you just present it in a very generic way.

Please don't hate me for being critical. It's totally not personal. This is only one poem.


Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jackie

6 Years Ago

Thanks man for the critical criticism!:-)



Reviews

Second stanza... the transition from the first to second line is fucked.

I bet this would be awesome if you applied a little 'word economy' touch.

It reads too much like a broken up paragraph than a poem.

The intellectual content is totally fine; you just present it in a very generic way.

Please don't hate me for being critical. It's totally not personal. This is only one poem.


Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jackie

6 Years Ago

Thanks man for the critical criticism!:-)

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Added on December 3, 2017
Last Updated on December 3, 2017
Tags: Personal

Author

Jackie
Jackie

Eau claire, WI



About
Hello folks I'm 27 Love all music, hardcore gamer, and avid writer. Been writing since I was 15. although feel I've most definitely started a whole new story. Older wiser and and mostly every thing I .. more..

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A Poem by Jackie


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A Poem by Jackie