The loss of a great friendship.

She was fifteen,

an innocent one at that.

Until one day she was playing with this boy.

They were home alone, and he took her down to his room.

 

With the laptop upon the bed beside them,

they fucked

and they fucked

and again and again.

 

This girl, my friend,

was never the same again.

She broke her boyfriends heart,

the news was spread throughout the school.

I defended her from those who called her names.

 

That boy who she fucked, was not her man,

he had no interest in her she'd be forever alone.

I hated that boy, i hated his guts.

He stole her from me, my innocent little girl.

 

My life is now different,

She changed even more, Bragging about her hook ups, her one night stands.

That boy has changed schools now, he's out of my life.

I shall never forgive him, for ruining what was.

 

Author's Note

#sorry about swearing again.
# this is a sequel to my poem titled S.L.U.T
# my best friend was dating my really close guy friend, cheated on him with some random guy from our grade who is only interested in sex, he shags every girl who is dumb enough!! and she broke my friends heart then lied to me, told me she was a virgin, but then eventually she had to confess and after that she started sleeping around and doing drugs, getting drunk all the time and stopped talking to me cos i am boring.

Reviews

[Sugar Plum ♥]

it sounds for me really painful..even with the words...expressing violence, somehow totally "out of poetry" but full with expression!

[nathan]

I agree with Akanksha, only the last stanza seems to convey the emotions. the others appear almost detached. and don't worry about the swearing. I think that even if you had omitted it, the reader would still have thought it :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

The empty feeling that exudes from the piece, leaves the reader full of sorrow.

[Michelle_H]

I like the story itself, but I think it reads more as a chapter in a book or a short story than a poem, imo. Still really good, but it was hard for me to read it as a poem I'm used to.

[zero binty]

Not going to criticize. I believe along the lines that how you put it down is how it belongs. Then again, I write on everything and how it comes out is mostly how it stays. Typos, swearing, messy handwriting and all. Loved the subject matter, as it pertains to something most people choose to ignore. Then they go all up in arms over teen pregnancy. Tards.

[Morrigan Nicole]

Very nice, and i agree with Akanksha.

[Sahar moonlight]

The theme of your poem was so deep.
Its true that some guys trap some innocent girls. And when they fell then their life is destroyed and they move towards the bad side in life.
I am sorry for what happened with you and your friend.

[Abbie]

really good write. i like how you expressed your feelings, but i don't think that you expressed them enough for the reader to truly understand. the third and fourth stanzas dont make much sense to me, because on minute she broke his heart, and the next he didn't care. this is a little confusing and you have to figure out that she had a boyfriend, but he wasn't the boy that she had sex with.other than that, i think that this was a good write! :)
and sorry that this happened to you. ;( it really is hard trying to find friends that are good. hope that you eventually feel better about this issue soon! :)

[These Haunted Hallways]

Wow, that's somethin, man :( Im so sorry this happened. It just totally sucks when people do this crap. I def know the feeling tho. It's like the people we thought we knew turn out to be entirely different than what we think they really are (hope i said that right lol). But, im very sorry this happened tho. She just lost a great friend, i'd say. It's her loss. Great work!! :)

[J. J. Nightingale]

Not really poetry .... Oh, "with the laptop ON the bed" ... otherwise .. all's well ...

That's life .. Take Care .. Jazz