I miss you...

I miss your smile,

Haven’t seen it in a while,

I miss your golden hair,

And the things you like to wear.

I wish we had more time,

You’re always on my mind…

I wish you hadn’t left,

It truly was theft,

The way they took you away,

and I miss you every day.

Reviews

[S. Michael Long]

i agree with rasputin, it is very lyrical.. if you put this with a chorus it would be a song! -s

[M]

It reads nicely though the line "it truly was theft" kind of breaks the meter a bit. The 2nd to last line is kind of vague but otherwise not bad. Given how short the poem, you might want to reconsider reusing the word "miss" at the end.

[Rasputin]

Like others have said, this piece gives off a lyrical vibe. Do you know any musicians?

[AK]

It is so nice, Jenna, so very heartfelt and beautiful. I think it is brilliant, and no, i liked the last line as it is. Did you write it for your Peter? I can really see that you miss him:( you might just want to check the syllable scheme a bit....

[ErikHansen67]

The rhyme scheme and flow remind me of lyrics from a song. Nicely done but leaves me wanting more...

[SuicidePact.]

should i change the last line to:

"and I miss you more each day" ???

[J. J. Nightingale]

WRITTEN WITH HEART ...

JASMINE ..

[The Animal Guy]

This is indeed sad, but a well-written poem. Thanks for the read and keep up the awesome work!

-The Animal Guy

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

I love this, and it has a great flow too :) Great job!