Blackjack

A metaphor of playing cards and infindelity

Once a royal prince you made a blackjack out of me,

Your hands were rinsed, misused my chivalry,

Once a Jack of hearts but was betrayed from the very start,

Ordered my heart to be seared, ordered my heart to be pierced,

My ruby red trait was tainted black,

Now a jagged spade instead,

You told me to never come back,

I felt cheated, I felt shuffled, I felt as if you had played me,

You rigged this courtship based off of honesty,

You renigged me with my opponent,

Once my suits and diamonds ran out you told me to leave,

You had another partner up your sleeve,

I was discarded to the bottom of your scraps,

I was disregarded as the insignificant face of your pack,

I was in denial,

I should have held your hands tightly,

I should have had you in a special spot in my pile,

But I was so deep in denial,

I was trumped, I was dumped by this malificent monarch,

From the discard pile I witnessed the coronation of the other Jack,

He is commended in red, in my favorite shade,

And i endured disconsolation from vibrant hearts, not bitter black

I can never win back my queen,

I gambled with a tyrant and lost to adultry,

Tried my hardest to keep a straightface but I am bluffing, I miss the full house

And now she has a royal flush to be proud of,

Replaced the former royal prince, now he is bent out of shape, a tainted spade

Clubbed by cluelty, put down to the bottom of the pack

No joker can make me smile, I am so bitter, I am so black

Reviews

[Adrian K. Smith]

While I cannot quite agree with w.k.k. below, I do feel parts of it were a little forced - but only very little parts. I could have seen this as a much longer piece, and I have no qualms about its length in the least. A game can go on for quite sometime, whether it is cards or the treachery of the heart.

[W.k.kortas]

One little spelling gremlin-- "reneged" as opposed to "renigged"

It's a pretty clever concept, but it's too much of a good thing; personally, I was saying "enough already" by the end of the piece-- the metaphor is just stretched too thin, and the piece loses a lot of its punch because it's just a bit overdone. I think you might want to shorten and tighten the piece a bit. It's a solid idea, and I think you have something pretty good if you prune it back a little.

[Violeta]

God this got to me. I love how you compare love deseption with a poker game, and the protagonist with cards. truly interesting, really deep, good imagery, Exelent Job.