Interior landscapes

My interior contains myriad formations

My interior landscape,

Vast as the universe;

Seeming without end,

Contains myriad formations.

 

Jagged barren peaks,

snow capped,

nurture bubbling, babbling brooks.

 

Sun, piercing through electrical storms,

gusting torrential rains,

create rainbows.

 

Oceans with unknown depths

house dragons waiting to

annihilate happiness.

 

Wildflowers sprout

beneath the manicured

rose bushes. 

 

                                   

Ancient oaks,

forever strong and stout,

accompany weeping willows.

 

Chocolate rivers, dark and tempting

flow bitter yet sweet

exotic and slightly erotic.

 

Stars burn brightly, yet,

eclipsed by the moon's mystery

in the eventide.

 

Moon glow’s mysteries

usurped by the peace

at dawn.

 

Paintings of stark relief

Ever changing in the kaleidoscope

Seasons of life and time-

The painter’s perpetual picture...

Author's Note

This is the title poem for my first chap book that is still sitting on my desk.

Reviews

[CD Campbell]

I think this is a very apt, strong start to any chapbook. I love this one a lot. Wonderful energetic imagery. I'm partial to this kind of writing. I like to be taken on a visual journey with overly symbolic storytelling whether it is internal or an external landscape. We'll done Jan.

[JayceeC]

And I was thinking of reworking this a bit...then you give it such high praise..Now I'm almost afraid to mess with it much. I was thinking it needed better transitioning. You always surprise me with what you like CD. Most of the time it is very different from what you write, which I find a bit curious.

[CD Campbell]

What I write and what I like seems to clash. I would add "ing" on a few things, but it would look in overused in hindsight. What would you change?

[JayceeC]

Sending it to you mail

[RiverRei]

I'm not sure what to think about this. There is a lot of description and imagery going on so I have a wonderful picture painted in my head of the scenery but no story to go along with it. That seems unusual in your writing to me. Of course, I'm very sluggish and tuckered out from working out so I could very well have missed something. I absolutely love the imagery and the pretty pictures in my head from the descriptive language but I feel like it's missing something without a little story along with it...BUT overall, wonderful :) LOVE YOU MOMMA!!! *hugs and hearts*

[JayceeC]

Well maybe look at the first lines again and the last. The pictures are me River. This is the signature poem gor my chap book. Each strophe represents a different side of my personality or emotional landscape. I have poems that fit each landscape mood. Come back when tje head is not cloudy...it will be here.

[RiverRei]

I'm starting to see it. I think it was just so abstract that I couldn't quite see it at first. Sorry Momma :( I wanna help! I also wanna make a chapbook but not sure how to compile it and such :(

[JayceeC]

Good luck there..no really you just put about 25 poems together, but you have to have some kind of thread of commonality with them. In this day and age chap books are only really used for specific writers contests. If you submit them for review, every piece in it will have to come down from the internet as they cannot be published pieces.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!!
vivid fluid beautiful....
awesome way to describe various emotions and thoughts one is made up of......or one commands....
amazing write......as always.
i loved it!!!
:)

[JayceeC]

Love when you visit. You say the nicest things...always
Maybe one of these days I'll write something you'll hate..lol.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

haha......you will have to write like me then..........!!! always a pleasure!!! :) :)

[JayceeC]

Are you saying you don't like your own work?..that musy be a guy thing...another friend prefers these modern minimalist pieces but writes in clasdic styles...go figure.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

that is some mystery!!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

great allegory to express the different forms and moods of writing that will be contained in your chap book...and that is a perfect title..

there are so many different poetic landscapes within our mind...and we travel most of them, many times....it never gets old.

[JayceeC]

Some emotions are more fun than others but they all connect with someone. None of the landscapes is unique. .its just how we paint them that adds our personal stamp. Our poetic brushstrokes if you will.

[Willard Wells]

Very visual and a beautiful designed piece. Like the kaleidoscope of what you see looking out of your mind.

Thanks you for sharing.

[JayceeC]

Even starkness has it's own beauty. Glad you enjoyed Willard.

[Robert]

Good one jay, painting of stark relief.... so much like the last lines. Very nice Jay.

[JayceeC]

Thanks Robert...glad you liked it.

[Elan Vital 23]

I sometimes wonder which is more vast in its conception the mind within or the universe without. And yet I can conceive of transcendental cosmic ascensions the cosmos may never come to on its own. So perhaps that's the answer. The mind is truly a myriad plethora of kaleidoscopic images. Some frightening, some appealingly comforting, diverse almost beyond a cumulative comprehension. Like pieces of puzzles, some that may never be completed. Sometimes jagged sometimes retuse, like a wondrous gift from god for our contemplation. The fact this poem induced these feelings in me is a testament to its worthiness. An excellent open-ended beginning to your chap book's evolution.

[JayceeC]

Bruce, this being an older piece, I could orobably add some twisting paths through brambles and such because the scene changes with every turn of the lense. How vast are we? Well that is something I'll explore throughout my life. I kinda like my interior because I know that while some of its festures are permanent and solid, others change like days and seasons. I'm glad this inspired you to explore even if only for a few minutes.

[Chris]

The view behind our eyes - like beauty - is in the mind of the beholder.

[JayceeC]

Such profound words, and true, but I'm wondering if that means this is beautiful, or as twisted at the images created..LOL
Thanks for stopping by Chris!

[Chris]

Tornadoes, Hurricanes, And Lightning T-Cells all have beauty and twistings... chuckling here

[....................]

A wonderful study of your interior geography, Jan. As I read this I was taken back to my first days SCUBA diving in different areas of our province's waters when the ocean's landscape left me in such awe. I love the way you capture human desire, emotion and fears as you guide us through some of the magnificent places of the individual. I have to confess, however, that I did pause a little while at that river of chocolate and may have even dipped my finger in for a taste. I mean, who could resist such a delectable treat?

[JayceeC]

since it was just your finger you are forgiven. if it had been your entire scuba gear we might have a problem lol. thank you for stopping by to read Thomas it's always a pleasure. Jan

[....................]

You would have seen my flag had I been SCUBA diving in that river :)

[Perkele.7885]

Something along similar lines. That will work for the forseeable littlewhile!