Dripping Tap

A collaboration with James Hana-Magill

The dripping tap I hear each day,
No sense of comfort thereby shared.
Each single strike I hold at bay.
I wish that someone only cared.
Too much, too little daily spent,
When nothing makes my heart content.

Forgiveness for our sins we're given.
Repentance all that's asked to show,
We grace the steps of life long riven;
Eternity the dice we throw.
No start or end to living see,
His price of death our hearts set free.

Between two points then we did start
Our quest to more than puppets be;
A search for other lonely hearts
In lives with vast and angry seas.
But only He does know the catch
That to our hearts own rhythm match.

Forever after has no end.
In childhood’s nature always sought,
However much to winds we bend,
Our last hours living He has bought.
Whatever ways our lives we play
The tap keeps dripping every day.

Author's Note

Photo: Salvador Dali "Persistence of Memory"

James' version and Comments can be found at
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/jameshannamagill/1593728/

Reviews

[ANM]

Until I read the review I did not realise this was a collaboration, the lines are perfectly in sync! Very well written and so true life is for living the most precious thing we have its time.... The clock of life never rewinds!

[emmajoy]

To find a collaboration that truly hasn't a master or mistress is rare. Seems your minds and hearts are walking parallel paths, thoughts trailing and twirling with each other. Your emotions and life creed are truly heart.touching in a gentle but specific way. This is written with precision wrapped in deep thought.

Not adding a stanza or phrase that stands out from the rest.. would be undiplomatic.. brava.. both.

[JayceeC]

Thank you from the both of us. James and I have become great friends despite the distance and his time away from the site as he is completing his final edit of his book Split. It makes collaborating with him a joy and a surprise as we just start and never know where exactly our minds will take us. I usually let him pick the structure since he tends to use them more, and we just go from there.

[jeannemarie coulter]

perfect pic for the poem...oddly i am a lover of the melting dali world...this whole poem summed up in the last line...reminds me of bob dylans statement "he not busy being born is busy dying"...a truly fine penning...
The tap keeps dripping every day.

[JayceeC]

And long may we hear it! Thanks for readind jc.

[Jane Taylor Hardy]

Beautifully penned....thank you for sharing your talent.

[JayceeC]

Jane, thank you for stopping by to read.

[Taylor]

I initially read this on James Hanna-Magill's page; his version includes a photo of a dripping faucet at the beginning and the internal workings of a large clock at the end. Yours with Dali's painting of melting clocks. It is interesting to me how the different images interplay with the text. As I said on James' page, I am out of my league here. I find the concept that through His intervention we will find others in life whose hearts beat in rhythm to our own. The images of "vast and angry seas," "life long riven" and "to winds we bend" juxtaposed to that He has bought our final moments to be very re-assuring. I am amazed that the two of you could create such a cohesive piece -- thank you for sharing it with us.

[JayceeC]

We often have lot of fun doing these. James usually sets the firm because he likes to work within a structure. I can, but find it limiting at times, so its nice to have the extra support. Just a heads up that we're wanting you to join in the fun, so next will be a prose piece. But that can be later.

[James Hanna-Magill]

Hello Taylor. I wasn't planning to comment on reviews of this piece which JayceeC and I co-wrote on JayceeC's page. But I felt in your case I wanted to. First and above all, well done on becoming Top Reviewer on this site as at the date of this message. Richly deserved. Secondly as JayceeC mentions I think an experiment where you, I and JayceeC co-write a short story in prose would be fascinating. I have never seen a three way write in short-fiction, just multiple contributors to fact based writing. That is precisely an excellent reason for doing it I think, however practically difficult to achieve. I think all three of us are up for it, though it may not be for now. Again congratulations on earning Top Reviewer status. Best wishes, James

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear JayceeC

As co-writer of this poem, I would add my own comments on your page.

We all write what we wish alone. I find there to be a necessity to write for those so disposed. Such is my case as I believe in yours and others.

However, there is much to be said for experimentation in writing, widening one's own horizons and trying new things.

This is the second poem we have written together.

What interests me here is the coalition of two minds which are in some ways similar and in others quite different yet complementary.

What results has its own value and for its own sake.

As I have said, in the mode of pushing self-perceived boundaries, I would be fascinated by a coalition of three in writing short prose with yet another with only an image or a word as a start point to the story.

No plot would be set in advance. The story would mature organically as three minds produce a short story, each taking it in turn and then all critiquing the whole to produce whatever result.

I really do not believe in limitations. I only believe in the creation of art by whatever mechanism.

As you know I am deeply embedded in editing a novel at the moment. At times my involvement on this site has been extensive but not at the moment as I have too many other things to dwell on.

I'll be back.

But yet the tap keeps dripping every day.

Thank you for your collaboration in this second piece.

We know each other quite well now.

In all friendship as ever


James Hanna-Magill

[Ben Noah Suri]

Amazing wordplay but too deep and philosophical for a simpleton like me... The dripping tap as a metaphor for time is really creative...

[JayceeC]

Thanks for the read. :-)

[Gee]

Dripping tap,ticking clock,life passing us by.Sorry I'm terrible at this but enjoyed the read Jaycee,and Names.Well out of my league...

[JayceeC]

You did fine, and got the gist.

[Gee]

Mmmmm,kinda left it late in life to learn how little I know,plenty of common sense and life skills,guess that will see me through eh !!

[JayceeC]

I'll take common sense over pure knowledge any day. I'm still working on my knowledge base, but sometimes thinks it clutters my brain.

[Perkele.7885]

I will be honest here, I am not completely sure what I read, except to say that the dripping is like a clock ticking on what our lives render before we die. Line be line, the two of you lost me in the word-play and alliteration.
I do not know how I would rate this if push came to shove.

[JayceeC]

This.is brain exercise, Raj. Lol

[Perkele.7885]

Maybe mine does not work or I do not have 1 or it has to be updated!

[JayceeC]

Lol..It needs a memory expansion with upgrade...lol. Was this a successful interrogation technique?

[...]

I am not religious, but I do believe that we take with us all we have given in this life...even all that we have recieved...and the tap keeps dripping an endless dream. Beautiful poetry, my friend :)

[JayceeC]

There are bits of our religious beliefs that run through this, but I think the predominant message is still relevant for those who are not. And of course you did see that.