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watered down nothingness

watered down nothingness

A Poem by J.A.N
"

you decide.

"

it’s bliss

this emptiness

watered down nothingness

 

tastelessly arranged

red, white and blue

pills define the gain

 

hands that caress this skin

ought to care for it will despair

with each and -

        every inch compressing

     comprehending reflection

 

Mode De Vie and grease

swallowing a sudden sin    

               - assume 

                 lost appetite

 

destructive heart reconsider

these riddles of mind -  

                                     over matter 

 

ten days fade

and so does

the weight of -

 

                       the world

© 2011 J.A.N


Author's Note

J.A.N
Does this poem seem unfinished?
I can't find words to complete it sincerely.
But as always, I thank you for reading.

My Review

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Reviews

Very beautifully written. I enjoyed this very much. Your a wonderful writer.

Posted 6 Years Ago


I loved it I wouldn't change a thing. it says lot with what is left unsaid it lets you use your own imagination and I loved the structure of this poem

Posted 8 Years Ago


Not sure I ever heard the term "Mode De Vie" to know what it even means. But other than that I think it's finished. Leaves a bit to the reader's imagination. Nice write.

Posted 8 Years Ago




"hands that caress this skin
ought to care for it will despair
with each and -
every inch compressing
comprehending reflection."

Good write! I think it feels very finished. I was impressed with how well you did this. I really enjoy you'r style. I liked the flow and concept. Freely structured poems are awesome.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I agree with the previous reviewer...I doesn't really feel unfinished...especially with the way you put down the words and the structure of it. I like it!


Posted 9 Years Ago


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Jay
Also, upon rereading it, I found like it seams more like an ending of something. Like it needs a beginning. Hope this helps!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Jay
I think it is very finished, honesty. I like the way it flows. Your words are so simple yet intense when written like this. Bravo.

Posted 9 Years Ago



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309 Views
7 Reviews
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Added on April 1, 2011
Last Updated on April 1, 2011

Author

J.A.N
J.A.N

Conroe , TX



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