Rising From The Blue

Believe in yourself and aim for the stars :)

Rising From The Blue

She sits all alone

By her window sill

Her future is unknown

Like clouds over the hill

 

Wonders what’s in store for her

Will all her dreams come true

But everything seemed a blur

As anxieties increasingly grew

 

But then she recalls

The best of advice

She won’t ever fall

For she won’t be born twice

 

Create your own life

And work hard for it

You won’t get it twice

Make your choices worth it

 

And enjoy it to its fullest too

As it’s an essential aspect

Don’t waste your time in blue

Otherwise you’ll regret

 

Life is a precious gift

Fate is your decision

So let your hopes uplift

Cause you’re worth appreciation

Author's Note

After a long time, I am pleased to present this poem. Its about hope, about finding light in the dark parts of your life.

I would like to thank two people specifically for helping me out with their sincere opinions ; Barleygirl and echoes of eros- thank you people

Happy Reading!

Reviews

[Asante]

Like a phoenix risen from the ashes..
I really love the message behind this, simple yet powerful.

The latter three stanzas are quotable all by themselves. :) Things that we should all remember. Things that I certainly try to remember on my worst days.

Good work, Jess.

[Jess]

Thank you for your time

[Hannah Grace]

Beautifully written. I will say we all need hope, and I will be honest, at times, I have had a hard time seeing that there is hope.

[Happy hours]

Life is beautiful, one should not waste it. Thanks for spreading strong words through your poem.. :)

[Jess]

Thank you :))

[Kuldeep desai]

Nice well written...........Its Simple and sweet.......Keep it up.........

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Hmm, wow! Great poem! Very encouraging and thought out!

[Rosmine D'Silva]

Such a beautiful poem Jess..This poem reminds me of a saying. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. ..." The title of the poem' Rising from the blue' is quite apt and good. Life is indeed a precious gift given by the Almighty and we should use the gift carefully. Indeed a beautiful write. Keep writing :)

[Jess]

THANK YOU GIRL!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Since you sent me a request to read your poem and its a rhyming poem, so I am in very familiar territory.
Every one has been praising it and why should they not. Written by a young 14 year old this poem sends a very positive message of hope.
The thought is very mature, something that every person can relate to and the poem is in rhyme and meter. The way a poem ought to be.
You have written this poem in Quatrains and followed the a,b,a,b, style of rhyme for every stanza. This is very commendable.
Where the poem falls short is in its meter and syllables.
A rhyming poem should have the same meter and number of syllables in each line of every stanza.
There are 5 syllables in the first two lines and 6 in the third and fourth line. A syllable (plus or minus one) is acceptable but if you look at the second stanza the syllable count in the first line is 7 and in the fourth line it is 9.
The third and fourth stanza flows between 5 and 6 beats but again in the fifth stanza the first line has 9 syllables and the fourth has 5.
You need to work a bit more on the beat and meter of a poem and you have a lot of time to improve.
All in all, a pretty good poem.
Regards.

*shabeeh*

[??????]

Very insightful words Jess

[Jess]

Thanks! Means a lot to me :)

[??????]

Your welcome

[Echoes of Eros]

You really are amazing, precious soul! You only bring us more to make our spirits dance! Life is a gift, and so are good friends who help remind us. So thank YOU! xo

[Jess]

Thank you so so much. Its my pleasure.

[Vria P Crow]

Jess,

I would first like to mention that this was a pleasant read for me in the morning with positive mood setting. I imagined myself as an adolescent, wondering about the future; the dream home, the dream job, and the dream husband. The image of a young girl "By her window sill/Her future is unknown..." invokes this memory.

In regards to the format, I adore the rhyme scheme which enables the reader to remember the message. I am impressed by how a young woman such as yourself is submersed in "hope" as you put it. It is common for teenagers to experience angst yet this poem reflects clarity and inspiration.

Overall, I enjoyed this poem and looking forward to reading more.

[Jess]

Thank you so much for your time and sincere review.

[Vria P Crow]

You are quite welcome. Once I have more time, I will read your other work. Keep on writing! :D