Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A Chapter by [email protected]!

Obviously, this chapter is unfinished as of yet, however I hope to be able to finish it very soon. If only I can find enough time between classes.


The night air came through my window and wrapped around me like a warm blanket as the smell of unfamiliar spices filled the air.  My bedroom, located directly above the kitchen, was constantly filled with the aroma of fresh food.  To my delight, the small puppy on my lap leaped up and licked my face vigorously.  I giggled and petted him until my favorite of our servants came into the room.  “Child, what have I told you about playing with Roscoe while in your dinner dress? Your stepmother shall smell him on you and he shall surely die if you continue.”

I nodded reluctantly let him into the special passage that the servants had built for my sister and I.  Susan then smiled at me and pulled a vial of clear liquid out of her petticoat.  She pulled the cork out of the vial, releasing an intensely sweet aroma that seemed to make the room feel safer somehow.  She murmured something in a strange tongue under her breath as she covered my arms and neck with the liquid.  Dear Susan possessed a strange, kind air about herself; and my happiest times in our castle always occurred when she was there.  

“There,” said Susan, “You look quite pretty my dear.  Supper is now ready, you must meet your sister and walk with her downstairs.” I sauntered to the ornate mirror on my vanity and made a quick assessment of my appearance.  My dark, glossy curls bounced about my face and shoulders, contrasting deeply with the red of my dress.  My dinner gown was rich in style and texture, befitting of none other than a very spoiled princess.  The large, imperial collar was probably a bit too mature for a six- year-old child, but when Susan was making the dress I simply refused to have it any other way.  The dress was made of silk and tulle, which was beset with genuine rubies that glittered and gleamed in the light of my vanity sconces.  The rope which fastened the dress was gold and beautiful.  Upon looking at my sister and I (for Rose, my twin, was as equally rotten as I), not a soul would suspect that we were the recipients of any sort of mal-treatment.  But yet, as I have learned over the course of my eternally long life, things are rarely as they seem.

Outside of my bedroom, the castle was lit so brightly that one might assume it was daylight outside.  The chandelier which hung above the elegant, winding staircase was one of the grandest sights in the castle.  The clearest of crystals dripped from its center, illuminating all 6 stories in the areas surrounding the staircase.   

Directly across the hall the large, imposing double doors, which were identical to those guarding my room.  As a child, I never understood why these doors were so thick and strong yet waxy in texture.  To me it felt as if someone had spilled apple cider over the whole of the door.  It was sticky and sweet smelling, and quite strange altogether.  I pushed the door open to reveal my sister, similarly clad, except that her dress was predominately gold with ruby-colored trim.  

“Why must you always dress like me Rose? I understand I look fabulous, but really, be a little creative”

“What on Earth makes you think that I knew before hand what you were to wear to dinner? I have far more important things on my mind than to think to myself ‘oh dear, I wonder what-‘”

“Girls! Stop bickering and lets not be late”

© 2011 [email protected]!

My Review

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I think you've layed out a good beginning here. I get the vibe of an older style of living, perhaps akin to the victorian age. I do hope you continue to work on the story. I'm curious to see what will transpire.

Great Ink!

Posted 7 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

it's good, and i hope you can keep writing and finish it, but the prolouge was weird because the text was very big and slightly annoying. Other than that, i enjoyed it

Posted 9 Years Ago

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Added on September 19, 2011
Last Updated on September 19, 2011


[email protected]!

My name is Heather, I'm twenty, future author and english teacher, highly analytical, The Vampire Diaries, A Tale of Two Cities, both classic and modern literature, the Victorian era, Coco Chanel, ext.. more..