An Obscure Reality

My Reality

Is it simply that I ask more than you are aware,
Or simply that my respectability has deteriorated?
I understand your confusion.
How can I ask for answers,
When the questions are unknown?
Yet, my dear, you see my pain.
You hear my anguish.
Do you comprehend agony?
Distrust? Confusion? Emptiness? Love?
And while your kisses are rain,
They do not wash away transgression or sin.
Suffering and loss are embedded in my memory,
Distrust is the synapse relay in my cerebrum,
Desire burns as it courses in my veins,
And morality duels itself for reign in my heart.
You have showed me in the past 8 months,
More than my pitiful lifetime ever has.
Yet I ask you to give just a bit more.
Do you comprehend necessity?
Expectations? Reassurance? Responsibility? Love?
I lust for a future comprised of more,
Something- someplace- where darkness can comfort,
And silence doesn't scream truth.
This is my desire- my dream.
This is my obscure reality.
I wonder if you will dwell there?
Though love cannot dwell with suspicion.
Do you comprehend love?
Sacrifice? Compromise? Choices? Promises? Futures? Hatred?
And yet, how can I ask these questions?
When your answers are unknown?

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

This poem is very good. Had a honest tone and directness I liked.
"I lust for a future comprised of more,
Something- someplace- where darkness can comfort,
And silence doesn't scream truth.
This is my desire- my dream.
This is my obscure reality.
I wonder if you will dwell there?"
I like the real-life feel of the words above. In the darkness of the night. The realness of people and want appear. I enjoyed the complete poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[youngkingkwan]

I very much enjoyed this! Thank you!

[GPR]

Such a great poem! Loved it!

[Alfred Kukitz]

Jillian this is a heavy task for any man. You bring an overwhelming amount to the table that might be hard to digest. I sense your young, feel your anguish, know you need comfort and security but try one day at a time it gives a man breathing room.

regards,
al

[Jillian Angel Sandoval]

Al, oh if only i could convey the depths of his warped brain, perhaps then you wouldn't sympathize so with him. i say so not out of bitterness, but out of pure fact. hard to believe that i'm the stable one in that relationship. i try to live day by day, he wants promises. i want promises, he wants 'freedom'. i fully understand that such a deep love as the kind i search for will take time to find, but am i wrong for reaching out to the one who 'cares' for me and asking him to be a bit more loving? but then again, i am a girl, so i suppose your arguing point will be how emotional and turbulent we are. i dont need a man's comfort and security, what i want is to know that when a man says "i love you" he will back up his word. but hey, a man does need his breathing room.

respectfully yours,
Jillian