Nobody Knows

NOBODY KNOWS

Twilights fades fast

It´s like I can´t see the sky

Fragile like glass

A heartbreaking goodbye

A gray that is fading as distance grows

But the color of love

Nobody knows

 

Longing is black

I can´t see where you went

Sorrow is white

While reason is transparent

A gray that is fading as far as time goes

But the color of love

Nobody knows

The orange sunrise

Such beauty wasted

The depth of green in your eyes

Before the regret you tasted

A gray twilight is fading as the stars are exposed 

But the color of love

Nobody knows

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Its beautiful yet again hun, you are one of my favorite writer's on here truly.
This piece was so creative, saying what every color is, it sounds so poetic.
The rhyming is always perfect you don't need to try.
I just read you're about me and about you wanting to publish a poetry book, I want the same thing, but I never see any around so i don't know if they would be a big hit.
If you where successful though and you're copies come to Australia, I would deffs buy you're book.
You're writing style is like mine, so I love you're stuff. You have raw talent, and almost all you're poems have a wonderful story.

Anyway this was truly beautiful as I said. You can never stop writing hun, you're to good to.

[C. Rose]

Nicely improved :)
I like that you included 'colorful' colors too
regret you tasted - nice
It's like I can't see the sky - nicely done
- thought I recommend matching the third to last line of each stanza more closely. I like how similar "a gray that is fading as distance grows" and "a gray that is fading as time goes" are.

[Johanna]

I thought about it but took in the twilight because of the very first stanza.. to kind of make a circle, but there is not point in that if it dosen´t work.. I´ll look at it :)

[C. Rose]

What about using twilight but as "a gray that is fading as twilight dies" or some such.

[A. Amos]

The last lines wer mesmerizing, I was lost in your beautiful poetry....

[Johanna]

I´m glad, thankyou :)

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my dear...

[Sami Khalil]

Love is colorless like water. We thirst for it and we charge on it through the depth of our souls. An excellent write..:)..............

[Johanna]

Thankyou so much :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)...................

[C. Rose]

Clever concept.
I like that the poem implies that love is colorful (as in contrast with black white and gray), but we don't know the exact color.

Nice repeated structure.

"In my opinion" the lines could be more concise. For example "seems like" isn't needed. And a third stanza following this pattern would fit nicely.
Then again that is just my opinion. There certainly is no 'right' way to write, especially where poetry is concerned.

Well penned. Nice to meet you :)

[Johanna]

Thankyou Rose :)

No thankyou for your opinion, I think I agree.. I´ll see if I can dream up a new stanze, but the seems like gone makes it better. I´m glad you made me aware of that :)

Nice to meet you too :)

[Johanna]

what do you think now? any better? :)