Its Been 20 Years

a short story i wrote for the "your story" contest in writers digest.... this month's prompt is, "seven people board a small boat for a tours of the islands, but when the boat returns only six people remains onboard" (i didnt really follow the prompt al

            "The prosecution calls Margaret Thomas to the stand."

            "No need to take the oath again, Ms. Thomas."

           

            The scene replayed in her mind, as it had every sleepless night since that fateful day.

           

            "Is it true that you and these five men," the prosecuting attorney pointed to the defendants table, "boarded your boat on September 24th to go on a tour of the Lake Amolad Islands?"

            "Yes, i already told you..." She said apprehensively.

            "No need to use that tone Ms. Thomas, it won't get you anywhere. Just a few simple questions," Margaret rolled her eyes, "and then you can go on home."

            "Ok, whatever." She said, putting emphasis on every syllable.

            "Good. Now is it also true that along with you and these five men, there was a certain..." he glanced at his notes, trying to pronounce the name that came next, "Goferaland Abiglanda." He still failed to pronounce it correctly.

            "Yes, and its go-fer-a-land a-bee-glaan-da." Margaret answered with a subtle note of disdain.

            "Ok, describe the scene on the boat."

            "Again!? I just described it to the other lawyer!" She exclaimed, trying with all her will to avoid having to describe it again, but not to raise suspicions.

            "Just to clear up any details." At this Margaret breathed heavily, trying desperately to remember how she had described it just a moment ago. She hadn't counted on having to do so again.

            "Ok, it was a very cool morning, and the soft September rain echoed through the boat, and left a haunting, ghost like mist suspended over the lake. We were on our way back from the islands, when I ducked under the deck for a second to grab something. I heard a peculiar splash, like someone falling overboard, so I returned to the deck. Doing so just in time to see that man," she was now pointing at the second man from the right at the defendants table," throwing a gun overboard. He did not see me, so I decided to not handle anything myself, but to have the cops meet us at the dock. So I texted my friend at the docks , telling her to have the police ready, because if i made a call while on the lake it would look suspicious."

            "Sounds like a reasonable thing to do, in the situation, but did you hear the gun shot?"

            "No."

            "So its possible that the thing you saw being thrown overboard was not a gun? Because a gun would have been easily heard."

            Looking suddenly flustered at the hole in her story, Margaret said, "The gun had a silencer on it."

 

            "We found the gun that Goferaland was killed with Ms. Thomas, it cannot have possibly had a silencer on it."

            "Ok" She could feel her heart rate soaring, her vision blurring.

            "You're lying"

            She let herself go numb as the guards came up to the stand, handcuffed her, and escorted her away. She knew she was now a suspect in the murder trial.

 

            She stared at the bars on the windows, trying to force the scene out of her mind, so she could rest enough to sleep, and maybe enjoy peace for one night.

But the scene continued, days and days of freedom passed in front of here eyes, mocking her with their not quite tangible reality.

 

            "I know what you did." The shady man said from an alley, and then disappeared into the darkness of her mind.

 

            "You killed her! You monster!" The prosecuting attorney screamed while fading into the haunting mist.

 

            "Everyone knows," said the darkness.

            "You did it." whispered the mist.

            "You cannot hide it any longer."

 

            "I DID IT!" Margaret Thomas screamed into the walls of the prison, as she awoke from her half conscious slumber. She cried, and wrapped her fingers around the cold, iron bars.

            "You gotta get over it," her cell mate said, almost habitually, "its been 20 years."

Author's Note

ok, tell me what you think
and there is a word limit on the contest, which is why i had to make it so short
otherwise i would have extended it a lot more

prompt is, "seven people board a small boat for a tours of the islands, but when the boat returns only six people remains onboard"
i didnt really follow the prompt all the way through.... (i just started with the idea of it in my head, and let the writing flow..... but i think thats what a prompt is really for anyways)


the deadline is october 10th

please point out any typos you find
any grammatical errors
any anything thats bad

Reviews

[J Carly]

I really enjoyed this story, John. I agree about prompts...I never follow them all the way through, either. In my opinion they are there, only to spark the writer's own creativity, and once that is done, the writer has creative license on where the story goes from there. I think you did a wonderful job. I only found one error left by the time I got to finish reading this (my life seems to allow me very little time to read and review at the moment).

"He did not see me, so I decided to not handle anything myself, but to have to cops meet us at the dock. "

I think you meant 'but to have the cops meet us at the dock.'

Other than that typo...it's great. Well done, my young friend.

[Ellen Hammond]

This is one of those stories that captured my attention and held it all the way through. I love the ending! It sends the message loud and clear that when we have a conscience, anything we do to hurt another, can haunt us for a life time. Thus, we sentence ourselves to life even though the courts might give us 20 years or so. Very well written! It holds our interest, never a dull moment. Hope the you do well in the contest.

[Sarah Marie]

wow john i love this story. this was absolutely amazing and the last line "You gotta get over it," her cell mate said, like it was a habit, "its been 20 years.", left me speechless as do all of your writings.

but i found a small error.

"Now is it also true that that along..." you repeated that.

keep writing john and good luck!

[Lizanne]

The story was good, the only things I would change is the gossamar mist on the lake. Change to the ghost like mist, ....gauzy mist.......veiling mist,..... At the end have the prosecuting att. disappear into the haunting shadows. Good writing, kept me reading and good luck in the contest!