1

I stared at my son in his crib and smiled softly and to myself. He was getting to be such a big boy, nearly a year old already. I bent down and stroked his cheek with one of my fingers as I mused to myself. I felt like he was my confident. I could confide into him about anything and it was comforting because I knew he couldn't talk back to me. It was just releasing tension. Words, stress, feeling the relief of telling someone what was on my mind and who better than my own flesh and blood.

"A," I whispered softly to him, my pet name for him. "Mama needs to keep some things off her chest again." I didn't even know where to begin. Life had been so simplistic at one time but happy. I missed the days of that. Nowadays all I felt was tension and for one specific reason. Him.

"I don't know how to deal with how I feel about him, Alex," I continued. "Your father is the best man I know and always will be but something's changed. It's not the same. Every since I laid eyes on him."

The bedroom door opened slightly and noiselessly for the most part, something I didn't notice at the time but a figure loomed in the corner, watching me and what I was saying to my son.

"I don't know how to proceed, baby. I don't know where I go from here. How do I get him out of my head and heart?" I looked expectedly at my son as though I would receive an answer from him. He just let out a gurgle of laughter, something that made me smile.

I sighed before telling him, "I never expected to feel this way. I hated him at one point. 

Why now? This wasn't supposed to happen and…" I rested my head on the bar of his crib. "Everything about him is getting to me, Alex. I've tried to ignore it for the past six weeks and I can't anymore. It's him. Your godfather. I love �""

I stopped abruptly at whatever I was saying when I heard the noise. A slight gasp of air from someone. A stunned someone. The person I was talking about. Jordan.

I whipped my head around and my mouth gaped open. "How long have you been standing there?" I asked on a breath of air.

"Long enough."

I watched as a lock of his brown, wavy, hair fell over his face and felt my heart speed up. I turned around, ignoring him for a moment while I tucked Alex into his crib and surrounded him with blankets as I gave him a kiss.

What the f**k was I supposed to do now? My mind whirled. I couldn't think straight with him hovering over me. He had heard everything. He knew how I felt about him.

When I could no longer ignore it, I turned around to face him and asked as nonchalantly as possibly, "What did you need?"

His eyebrows furrowed a slight bit of irritation evident on his attractive features. He was wearing his glasses. That made me smile. He noticed.

"I heard what you said to Alex."

"I don't know what you're talking about. That was a private conversation with my son. You had no right listening at the door, Jordan."

Anger shimmered in the depths of his forest green eyes. "I was coming to tell you that I was going to plan a birthday party for your son, my godson. I heard you talking and it sounded important so I didn't want to interrupt you."

A sigh left my chest, making my breasts shimmy. His eyes stayed focused on my face. "What do you want me to say," I asked in exasperation.

F**k. Why did I feel this way? Why couldn't I get it to stop? An attraction was not enough to risk everything for. As soon as that thought entered my mind I dismissed it because this was much more than attraction on my part. I was starting to think it was love. I had to get him out of my mind, out of my life, but how to do that?

As those muddled thoughts ran through my mind he cleared his throat and that snapped me out of my daze and my eyes drifted to his.

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Stop playing stupid," he almost shouted. "You know what! What I just heard you say."

I dismissed his thoughts with a casual wave of my hand. "That. It was nothing. Forget I ever said it."

His lips thinned in irritation. "We're going to talk about this and we're going to do it now." His voice picked up on the last word.

"I don't think so, Jordan."

He grabbed my hand and I tried to protest but he was dragging me to a connecting room, as to not awaken Alex with our arguing. He got a few points for that.

"Where is he?"

My fiancée. "He's asleep. In bed. Our bed." I added the last part on purpose.

"Good. That we won't be bothered. I want you to tell me now why you were saying those things to my godson. Do you actually feel that way?" The last question was asked on a gasp of breath.

Knowing that he wouldn't let up until I told him everything, and with Jordan, that would mean everything, I calmly sauntered over to a chair, pulled it out from the table and sat down with my back straight as a rod. My ivory camisole stretched over my breasts and dipped to show some of my cleavage. I didn't notice, nor did I notice that's where his eyes went.

"I don't even know where to begin."

"At the beginning would be good." He moved closer to me and his eyes never left my face. My heart thumped, my palms got sweaty, tight tension and maybe something else settled in my lower stomach.

I wet my lips and tried a different tactic. "Jordan, it's not really �"

"Answer me."

"Yes," I whispered. "It's true."

I didn't need to look at him to know that his face had become slack with shock and surprise or to know that he had started to back away from me. Great. I had probably fucked our relationship now. Our friendship.

This was going to be a problem. More of a problem than it already was.

You see I was falling in love with or had already fallen for my fiancée's best friend.

Reviews

[biggle]

nice, i like it a lot. very interesting..

really makes me want to hear the rest of the damn conversation lol, and what else happeneds... haha, that was great. i liked it.

[KayleeLegend]

This is such a great piece. You can feel the woman's tension in her life, and you can sympathize for her and her situation. I can't help but get a weary feeling about Jordan. He seems like he really cares for his godson, but he also seems very... tense with your main character. It might be because he overheard her confession, and his mind is still reeling, but I mean, honestly, he seems kind of.... again, tense is the only work I can think of. I can't wait to read the rest. After reading more, I can get a good feel for Jordan's character, and his relationship with the main character. Overall, I really enjoyed this, and your writing style. Keep it up!