Nolan's Journey

Nolan's Journey is about a teenage boy who is going to his first gender therapy appointment

Nolan’s Journey

By Josh

 

(Lights up on therapist office- there’s a desk, and 2 chairs. Therapist is sitting there with notebook and pen)

(Nolan knocks on door)

Jane: Come on in! (Nolan enters the room and closes the door) Hello, my name is Jane, what’s yours?

Nolan: My name is Nolan

Jane: Hi Nolan, are you excited to start your gender therapy sessions?

Nolan: Kinda, I mean, its therapy so it isn't over the top praise Jesus amazing or anything.

Jane: OK Nolan, tell me a little bit about what you like to do for fun. What are your hobbies? Do you have any pets?

Nolan: I like sleeping, watching TV, swimming, playing video games, surfing the web, and bowling. I have two cats but what I really want is a pet octopus.

Jane:  Well that’s certainly an interesting idea for a pet. What do you like about octopi?

Nolan: I like that they live in the water because water is awesome and you can move differently in the water than you can on land. I also like that they have so many legs; I don’t know why, but I just think their legs are cool looking. It would be the best thing EVER if I got an octopus.

Jane: I see…well I’m looking at your chart and it says you’re a female to male transgender; would you like to tell me a little bit about your transgender experience?

Nolan: Sure. I have known I was a boy since I was 4 years old, but I never knew the words to describe how I felt. I would try to pee standing up thinking I had a boy’s body. I became really depressed when I found out I didn't. When I was 5 years old, I told my sister’s friend that I am a boy in a girl’s body but she didn't believe me. When I was 7 I told my aunt the same thing that I told my sister’s friend. She just laughed. When I was 12 years old, I found out that the word transgender described exactly who I am. I was happy to find out whom I really am but at the same time, it’s no picnic being trapped in the wrong body. When I turned 14, I came out to my mom, sister, and dad. Now I’m here, in therapy, hoping you can help me figure out where to go in my transition.

Jane: So it sounds like you have always had these strong feelings of being male

Nolan: yes, I have.

Jane: Have you done any research about hormones and surgery?

Nolan: Yes, I have done quite a bit of research.        

Jane: Would you like to share with me what your hopes are for medically transitioning?

Nolan: I really want to start taking testosterone as soon as possible. I want the facial hair, the deep voice, and to start looking more my age.

Jane: Do you have any hopes for surgery?

Nolan: Yes, I want to have top surgery as soon as I possibly can. Binding hurts and I don’t want to go through it any longer than I possibly have to.

Jane: Do you know what surgeon you want to go to?

Nolan: I want to go to a surgeon in MA, I forgot her name, but I hear she is really good and does surgery for minors. I want to get the double incision with n****e grafts because that seems like the best option for me.

Jane: It sounds like you have done a lot of research on this, earlier you mentioned binders. Would you like to talk more about what they are and what they do?

Nolan: A binder is something female to male transgender people wear to hide their chests. Basically, a binder is elastic- like material that compresses the chest to make it appear flat. Unfortunately, binders compress the ribs too so they can damage your ribs, causing them to break. If your ribs break and hit your lungs, your lungs could collapse and you could die.

Jane: Wow, binding sounds very very serious

Nolan: It is, that is why I want surgery so soon.

Jane: Well Nolan, unfortunately the world is not very accepting of transgender people and it takes a lot of work to medically transition. You would have to see me for a year before I can even consider putting you on hormones and it would take two years before I could write you out a surgery letter. (Nolan has a look of doubt) I know, it isn't fair, and you shouldn't have to wait so long to become yourself physically.

Nolan: (nearly in tears) All I want to do is medically transition; I have been waiting for this day since I started going through female puberty at 9 years old. Everybody else was born in the right body, why couldn't I have been? I live my life afraid of the world knowing I’m different and hating me for it, I live my life hiding from who I really am because who I really am is socially unacceptable. I want to be free, I want to be myself. I want to be a BOY, but not just any boy; I want to be a boy in the RIGHT body! I want to be a cis-gendered boy.

(Jane freezes in the background- Nolan stands up and walks to center stage)

Nolan: Cis-gendered means your body and your brain are the same gender. If your body and your brain are NOT the same gender, that makes you transgender. I am transgender because my body is female but my brain is male. Jane is cis-gendered because her body is female and so is her brain. Life as a transgender guy is difficult. Binders hurt, testosterone is taken by shots every other week, and surgery is expensive. Insurance doesn't cover any of the medical expenses which leaves me to come up with the surgery money on my own. Most people don’t understand my situation and judging becomes their laughs for the day. In a fantasy world, I would go to gender therapy, get some pills to make me cis-gendered, and then be rewarded with a real living octopus for sharing my feelings. If only real life was like my fantasy.

(Jane unfreezes- Nolan goes back to his seat and sits down)

Jane: I understand Nolan. From what you have told me, I truly believe you are transgender and this is not some other psychological problem. I am going to prescribe you some pills.

Nolan: What kind of pills?

Jane: They are called “Transgender Relief”. They will make you turn into a cis-gendered boy.

Nolan: (excited) REALLY!!?? That’s AWESOME!! That’s AMAZING!!! That’s…wait a minute… why didn't you tell me about these pills BEFORE this hour long session??

Jane: I wanted to make sure you were really transgender and that this wasn't some other psychological problem. You see Nolan, if a cis-gendered person takes these pills they will become transgender.

Nolan: Oh, I see.

Jane: Well Nolan, it looks like time is up for today but before you go, I want to give you an octopus

Nolan: An OCTOPUS!!??

Jane: Yes, an octopus, for being so well behaved and being open about your feelings with me.

Nolan: You mean a REAL, LIVE, OCTOPUS??

Jane: Yep, we have an aquarium down in the basement.

Nolan: I didn't know mental hospitals had aquariums.

Jane: Come on Nolan, follow me, let’s go down to the aquarium.

Nolan: OK! High Ho, High Ho, it’s off to the aquarium I go!

BLACKOUT

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