Redemption

Redemption,

the only remedy for my depression,

the one thing that'll cure my own obsession

of heaven

that started at the age of seven

I can't believe in what I achieve

but it wouldn't hurt to try.

 

Solutions

that you've provided from your own conclusions,

have been disproofed by many persecutions,

"illusions",

of moral based revolutions.

One day I may meet my knees and pray

but for now I must stay and fight.

 

 

What do you want me to say?

I don't care for your way anyway

I wish I could believe you're right

but for now I must stay and fight.

 

For my sanity

For my vanity

For insanity

For humanity

 

For my stride

For my pride

With my faith by my side

no longer someone elses path I'll abide

 

If one thing I could ask

before my own death

it's redemption from myself.

Author's Note

Yes, I'm back. :)
And as you can see, I'm in experimental mode.
Notice it gets faster towards the end, so no need to comment on inconsistent rhythm - it's intended.
If you can't envision it, you should stick with my simpler work.

Redeem - to free from what distresses or harms: as
a: to free from captivity by payment of ransom.
b: to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental.
c: to release from blame or debt.
d: to free from the consequences of sin.

Reviews

[Legion]

Nice piece. Felt almost like a beat poet piece. For some reason, the first stanza really sticks with me. Also, "One day I may meet my knees in pray", did you mean "and pray" or perhaps "in prayer"? Good write.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was a very evocative write. the only redemption is truth. If one can know the truth, one can be free. But beware that there are liars everywhere who seek to chain you with their own conclusions. An excellent write!

[Midnight Rose ~*Anna Ro..]

And what an experiment it was! Powerful, marvelous write, Yuval.

Just one little thing I noticed = What do you want my to say? shouldn't it be "me" instead of "my"


Awesome write
~*Anna Rose*~