Fireflies

Fireflies

A Poem by Y.F.

 

Five lit fingertips

caressing the night

it's purr can be heard from afar.

Like a slow foreplay

of a couple in love

so virgin, so pure, so divine.

 

The night takes the hand

and together they dance

to a song that's been written in stars.

A lonely observer

stares and admires

please let the sun never rise.

© 2009 Y.F.


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Not bad. You're as talented as Shakespeare (via Petruchio in Taming of the Shrew) at taking simple words and adding a sensual side to it. My only suggestion to improve your work is to write out the word five. It adds to the serene tone and flowing of the words a bit better than 5. Otherwise, good work!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on December 13, 2009
Last Updated on December 13, 2009

Author

Y.F.
Y.F.

Do not disturb me, I'm already disturbed. ;)



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**I don't really use this account anymore - keeping it open to preserve the existing content, but might close it in the future.** I've been writing throughout the vast majority of my life, mostly b.. more..

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