Dancing in the street

The night that is supposed to be remembered above all nights. No matter what happens in your life. Who you were. This is that night.

 

 

I felt like a Princess

Like Cinderella come to life

And he was my Prince

Only not so much

We flowed together in ribbons of blue

Round and Round he spun me

His arms wrapped around me protectivly

His touch gentle

Like that of a butterflys wing as it brushes your cheek

Our eyes never leaving one anothers

His gaze seeing everything in me and knowing it all

Round and Round he spun me

I was aware of him

Seeing nothing but his eyes

Crystal Blue

Feeling nothing but his touch

Hot and Soft on my Waist

Tasting nothing but his breath

Sweet and Intoxicating

Round and Round he spun me

The music stopped

I felt his arms slowly leave me

My heart stopped

I closed my eyes and tilted my chin

My lips burning for the touch of his

Every part of my body ached for his touch

He did not kiss me.

 

Author's Note

I haven't written anything in quite a while. So please excuses my rustyness and spelling, grammer, and other errors. But please give me your thoughts. Always important to me.

Reviews

[Clockwork]

I think that you do a very nice job at infusing feelings and images into this piece. There is a natural progression in your lines that leads to the climax of the piece and that is nice. One thing that may help this piece is separation into stanzas, as well as a few rhymes, or metaphors. To be sure a good start

[The realest]

When read you stress the spinning in your poem which is awsome because I felt the spin that flowed along with your choice of words and description yes indeed good job

[Beka]

Sad part about this story.
This is totally my prom........
)-:

[Rambling Prose]

This is a beautifully written piece. Laced from beginning to end with tantalizing imagery that gently guided the mind's eye into the whimsical. Leaving the reader with a sense of longing lovingly for that kiss.

A beautiful dance indeed ~ well penned...

[Brandon]

Nicely done. It was well written.

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

i really like it. i love how it touches the roots of romance. the very things that make a woman love the man she's with. rain, everlasting kisses, and dancing that makes the woman feel like a goddess. great poem. i love it.

[Arthur Henn]

Speechless little lady. You are a good writer. Keep writing, never stop.

Art

[Lalli]

i'll be more than happy to share my thoughts. And I think grammar and punctuation is all overrated hahaha..

Its a beautiful piece, you captured the moment, the emotions, the thoughts perfectly. I was quite pleased with the ending, keepin us on our toes huh?.. good! we need that. lol. Keep writing, i wanna read more!

much love n' respect

-Lalli

[Dawn]

this is really good hun, i love the way it flows, and the way it ended had me thrilled. wasnt expecting him to not kiss her.

Keep writing hun dont worry about being rusty, you still have talant.
Dawn