A Rainy Day

A Rainy Day

A Poem by Beka
"

The sky has been taunting for rain for a long time. It has finally come. The best way to wake up in the morning is to the sound of rain tapping at your window.

"

I heard a sound this morning

One I know quite well

I hugged my pillow and sighed

I miss you during these moments

I want nothing more

Then for you to be with me

Completely lost in the folds of fabric that are my covers

Embraced

Warm

Comfortable

The rain is heavy outside my window

I hear it

Pound on my windowsill

Such a comforting noise

To some

I think of you

I miss you

I know I will not be with you today

My smile fades away

A sad start indeed

 

© 2008 Beka


Author's Note

Beka
It's missing something...or it's to much. I'm not sure which. Any suggestions?
Please and Thank you.

My Review

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Reviews

First off, thanks for being the first to review my work.

Second, I really like this. I don't really see anything you should change. We all see things differently, and what may seem wrong to you, may seem right to me. Or vise-versa. But well done. I also love the ending.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I notice that sometimes your not sure about your poems. But girl we all right. I can see that you bring so much passion and love into this piece that I just want to hug you. I'm so proud of you and how you can touch people in so any ways. Your amazing writer!

I'm blessed
Much love n respect,
Anna

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I think that your poem is fine just the way it is . Now , if you were going to lengthen it some , i might recommend that you try to expand on some of what you already have here. As an example....."I know I will not be with you today" expand on this by explaining in detail how not being with him will make you feel. Empty hearted ? Vulnerable to the gloom that comes along with a rainy day? You can try this with any line that you have here . There are many lines that I can see that this would work great on. Again ..... I liked it !!
Oh yeh ..... it's not too much !! Let your imagination have some fun. You'll find that once you get started you won't be able to close the floodgates.
Keep up the good work.

Posted 15 Years Ago


3 of 4 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 9, 2008

Author

Beka
Beka

Where Ever my mind is most comfortable pretending to be., OK



About
My name is Rebekha and I am a mass of contradictions and I suffer from the constant memories of my passed lives. (Not ones where you turn into insects or animals) I believe it is what inspires me to .. more..

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