I let you have the final say

“Oh god, you’re here. You changed your mind?” I breathed out after grasping the sight of her near the gate terminal. I couldn’t bear that this was all.

“The airlines delayed my plane. My flight’s boarding now.” She whimpered, her eyes red from the drops pooled in her eyes. The reason it hurt so much is that I felt like this moment was never going to end, never going to stop the ache.

“You don’t have to go love, you could stay here and take that job in the city. Tell your parents they have to let you stay…” I tried to reason with her.

“Ishaan I have to go.” She retorted.

“No, you don’t.” I whispered knowing I cannot lean forward to my next blue sky without her. She knew that.

“Yes I do. I have given this a thought for about months, I do.” She said breaking my resolve not to dissolve into tears in front of her. I dropped my head and ran my fingers through my hair resisting the urge to pull them out in agony.

“Why?” I asked meeting her eyes.

“The first because my parents want me to move away to their state in US and study there…” She was trying to justify.

“Well we can fight that, you are graduating college, this isn’t forbidden anymore…” I tried again.

“I don’t want to fight anymore. I am tired of fighting for the odds against us. I am tired of fighting with my friends who think I am wrong. I have lost so much time in fighting, being afraid, being the savior. I am in love with you, I shouldn’t have to try this hard for it.” She cried and held my hand. I couldn’t digest this nightmare tinged with heartache yet love. How could she abandon us without putting up one last fight?

“I need to get out Ishaan and start living for myself, for once I need to get out of here and do things for me and not just for everyone. You know what I mean.” She said and I could see how much she must have rehearsed this over and over again in her head.

I nodded trying the urge to plea again to stay because the pain was chopping my heart with sharpest blades it had. She came up and kissed me on my lips and it lingered there for brief seconds before she stepped away. I closed my eyes trying to memorize the moment exactly how it was.

“So, maybe this is a good idea.” She said taking a long breath. I let my fingers brush over her hand as she continued, “I can’t make this easier for us but let me promise for the next time.”

“This is a terrible idea.” I uttered and heard the final call for boarding of passengers to San Francisco. She picked of her luggage and looked at me. And that moment I knew maybe I was never going to see her again. I wanted to go after her and tell her something or anything that would make her look at this again but somewhere deep inside my heart I knew I couldn’t keep her, caged.

“You can get a ticket for the next day June.” I still tried to convince my heart.

“It’s not going to be easier tomorrow, I cannot take this moment any longer Ishaan. I have to go.”

I always knew we would find our way back to each other no matter what because her and me, it felt final. But right now at this moment, maybe this was final because even if we did find our way back nothing would be same again.

She had finally made her choice and I had let her have the final say. I had to let her go and find herself and let this grief settle in my heart.

“This is not fair…” I said finally.

“Maybe not. But right now maybe this was supposed to happen to us. We will find our way back to each other like always… I want to have something to look forward to the other side…” She said and in my bones I knew what she meant. But I was afraid of saying goodbye. Breathless I gazed into her eyes, “I love you…” Beaming at me as the tip of her nose touched mine when I grabbed her closer and my forehead rested against hers.

“I will never forget that.” She breathed out as a chunk of air touched my face, I close my eyes and let them enter my bloodstream. I opened my eyes and saw her vanishing away through the crowd as the finality of the moment struck its chord into my heart. This was one of the hardest moment and all the memories collided with each other exploding into nothing. But a kind of nothing that meant everything.

 

 

Author's Note

Thank you for the reviews

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

Enjoyed this too, the kind of work that is well liked and has a chance to be published. Good work.

[prachi prangya agasti]

Thanks so much... :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the story told in the poem. I liked the interaction and the conversation.
"This was one of the hardest moment and all the memories collided with each other exploding into nothing. But a kind of nothing that meant everything. "
The above lines is a sad ending. Regret for actions and words not said. Leave us wishing for a better ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[prachi prangya agasti]

Thank you for your words.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.