Sometimes the heart breaks the right way

She was reading that book she always did in the weekends at a corner at Oxford. She smiled turning the page she was onto and for a moment her eyes drifted towards the thriller section of the novels. And just like that her breath hitched just so fast that maybe should have sounded pretty in some romantic era.

“Alex,” she whispered her voice low enough not to alert the person she was gazing at. She had learnt the hard way she won’t be seeing him anymore when he had broken her heart. People say you get over it, she would have said too but every time she had tried to be happy she remembered him. Every time she had tried to fall in love again something reminded of him.

Though lovers were merely lost, their love was not.

She buried her face behind the book and raised her tresses carefully. Seeing him after so many yeas reminded her of the autumn in her irrevocably ruined heart. She instantly closed her eyes hoping it were midnight by her bed and she had him right beside her but it was the dream she can no longer strive for.

“Mia…” She heard her name and immediately stood up in her place confined by his smile. And she was seventeen again. She was a prisoner to the dangerous addicting drug. Hell, she has always been since five years. It was about damn time she accepted it.

Each moment after he had gone was slow and stuck. Infinite moments had lined up through her life waiting but she was stuck wondering the ‘ifs’ and ‘whys’ of his broken promises and empty clatters in her heart.

“Hey,” She said softly her eyes resting back on his. Right now she could hear his voice and sense hi presence. Wasn’t it what she always wanted? But love was chaos itself. Things were never gonna fix right.

“How are you?” He asked after a long pause. He had never found a space for anyone between the words and in the margins. She knew that because this wasn’t the first time they had talked within those five years. Their road map was restricted to the social networking sites and they had avoided any proceeding conversation to meet to spare them awkward poof of air between them when it happened.

“I am fine. What are you doing here?”

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She was supposed to be ready when it happened but honestly it was more forceful than she had imagined. She had long forgiven him because she didn’t want to fight over the two lines of punching him and understanding him at the same time. But caressing him through her eyes after a long five years wasn’t just a simple serendipity.

“Just buying a book. I see you’re reading the usual.” He said politely and smiled at her. There were certain words that only heart could hear and understand, the words that could ensnare your heartbeats in short syllables. And he was the master of the art.

“Once and always,” she shrugged in an obvious tone. She bit her lips involuntarily to escape the pounding of her heart. He grabbed a seat beside her and his eyes rested on hers. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. But she didn’t want to visit their time.

Their conversation however vulnerable it may went on from the last time they had seen each other to the days of their lives in five years. When they asked for the refill of their coffee, that moment forever changed.

One of them had loved the other perfectly in complete abandonment and one of them watched the other closely. Maybe heart breaks the right way.

The evening seemed unaware of the fate’s advances but it learnt more of the crippled hearts meeting by thunder light of love. The feeling of happening that was meant to happen never fitted into their innocent hearts.

“You know…”He was continuing with one of escapades when his brushed against hers and right that moment she was motionless, every second felt like slowly creeping into reality. They sat there looking at each other saying nothing. She should have been the first one to look away but something about his eyes just felt right; for they might have been parted for years but his eyes brought the heartbeats back to their home without hurt and bitterness.

It took her a long time, a life time to speak, to shut off the distant sound of her past. But while they were in it she had sworn she would stay away from his endearing trait of making her giddy fast and slow with his fervent gaze. This is how it all began and she should stop.

“Umm…so…I should go home.” She spoke slowly in a voice too low to be heard.

“Mia, let me walk you home then…” he said like a perfect gentleman he is.

Maybe that was the moment they were slowly pulling away from the past into the future. The wonderfully terrifying sensation.

The power was slowly ceasing out of her grasp, ‘how does she not fall in love with him?’ They walked quietly along the pavement of the road and he broke the silence, “Would you mind if we have some dinner before you go?” Slowly and uncertainly thousand sensations swooped and she was surprised she was able to stand. Would she allow him to make this right without ruining everything? Maybe a dinner won’t do any harm after all they had been friends since two years. She had been keeping score of their interaction, the course of change from strangers after break up to friends. She looked into his eyes and the emotions that held them filled her whole gigantic world.  And she nodded knowing she had been afraid for a long time.

Maybe she could know if there were mornings he woke up and missed her, that some incidents in his life has taught some lessons to him. She didn’t want his surge of longing but she had hoped he would look at her with the kind of conviction that he had wantonly hurt the good inside her.

They walked side by side no point in hurrying because they didn’t want to stop the hour or the spot. Maybe seeking a chance at love wasn’t dangerous. Few steps ahead his fingers brushed against her skin and neither of them itched to withdraw their hands voluntarily. The fact that moment like this spoke volumes of quiet passion, they knew in their hearts they can be found again.

 

Author's Note

Thanks for the reviews

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

Enjoyed this, perhaps some kind of intro would make this even better. Why Oxford ? What corner ?

[prachi prangya agasti]

Oxford is kind of a small bookstore with a cha bar. And the corner table where she always sits reading any novel.