of infinities and beyond

Her million broken stars vanished as she waited for just one to shoot across the sky and fall to make a wish for a miracle.

Tendrils of a zephyr nuzzled her locks and lulled the woes sheathed in her heartthrobs into an arid urge. The urge that entranced her heart to breathe the tang of his fiery passion again. But everything far, far lost within the shadows of broken heart tales. Somehow he had moved on. And somehow he had left a chain on her heart which never could be rescued.

Natalie moved away from the window and settled on her couch with a novel. When she took up this assignment for publication she didn’t know she would stumble upon his work.  She glanced again at the manuscript resting on her desk that held the weight of his words about a love which wasn’t theirs. She knew that it was always hard to be the one who stays and he stayed behind waiting for her. But she wished to do everything the right way and making the choice to leave was the most difficult bit that she could never get used to that feeling.

Behind the routine life she had, there always laid a persistent longing that she couldn’t easily comprehend.  She desperately wanted him in unfamiliar cafes she used to visit. The exotic food and strange faces made her ache for his familiarity. When the remaining days of her life there was withering away like leaves in the autumn days, she knew where to find them. So, she came back after broken whispers at midnight after five long years of heartache.

She was snapped away from the trance by a knock on her door.

“Liam,” she opened her door and smiled at him half-heartedly. “Come in,” she let him inside and looked at him curiously. Maybe he was here to discuss about his manuscript, she thought and bit her lips anxiously waiting for him to speak.  

“Well I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said today of me deserving that kind of big beautiful love.” He said and took a pause staring at her.

“I just want to be honest with you Natalie.” She gave him a nod to continue.

“I didn’t start writing this book for Elizabeth, I started it for you. ‘Of infinities and beyond that’s what it was supposed to be titled. You always used to say that.”

Her breath hitched and her heart welled with tears. She couldn’t say to him anymore that she still ached about him in the same way she always did. She had convinced herself that mostly she broke her own heart. She couldn’t unite the pieces of their love when she had the chance. And now she is someone else’s. He was entitled to Elizabeth, his fiancé. But could she wish and adore someone again after such brokenness? Could she fall in love again?

“I don’t know what to say Liam.” She whispered and looked at him with teary eyes.

“Just hear me out. Then in the few minutes today I took to rush to the hospital when I heard about her being caught in a fire, I just, I couldn’t imagine my life without her.” His voice suddenly dropped probably anticipating how much those words could tear her apart. Her heart was breaking all over again till no part of it remained alive. Could she stand on her feet and walk through her life completely without his love?

Empty that’s what her heart sounded like and she screamed inside for everything, for letting her choice destroy them. She was ruined due to the messiness she had created and the hurt in their pasts.  But before she could heal his scars inflicted by her, he couldn’t recognize them in her anymore.

“So, that’s it. You deserve it Liam more than anyone I know.”

“I hope that you find the same,” He smiled at her.

“Me too,” she stuttered with a voice. Her insides were choking waiting for a sign to break down.

There was a brief moment of silence as they stared through each other’s heart waiting to become something beautiful out of the mess they were in. But her longings dashed and divided like a million stars in the sky and she wished on them over and over again broken and aching. He had never been healed by the right kind of love, selfless and honest. There was no part of him that wished for her fragmented heart to love. And she didn’t know if she could ever be unbroken again.

He started his way towards the door and she stopped him saying, “Liam, can I kiss you? Just one last time to say goodbye.”

Liam stared at her desperately trying to deny but no words seemed to pan out. Because the length of this moment couldn’t be measured at least by a heart whose passion was never annihilated.

She never planned on changing his mind. It was just the last thing she wanted to remember of him. She reached out and took his face in her hands. She was close, close enough to feel the warmth of his body. She slowly caressed his hairs falling across his forehead as if trying to memorize every little details of his face. She smiled at him and sighed, “I am going to regret this. But this moment…”

She leaned in and placed her lips against his cheek and stayed there for a brief moment. She exhaled slowly in sync with him as her lips lingered at the corner of his, letting the moment subside for a while.

He breathed heavily and turned around trying to fight whatever that dared ooze out, he quietly said, “Thank you,” and walked out of the door. Natalie closed the wooden body and leaned against it while her tears rained down terribly after a long, long time. 

“Goodbye,” she whimpered through her rugged breaths. Her heart kept twinging with a desperate ache as he took his steps further away from her. This time she had no choice but to continue with the life she had. Because there was nothing else that could be done. She would be holding this empty heart twisting through the greatest anguish of her love.

There is always a difference between having your heart broken and being the one responsible for a broken heart. And after the beautiful stars been plucked from her sky she was left with both, an empty chamber in her heart and a lingering regret.

Author's Note

Thank you for the reviews

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

Good write, like the balance of dialogue and text, that makes this a good read. And love the title, with its plural of infinity, great idea

[matrixmark]

This is really good start. And its intriguing. Will obviously like to read more. Nicely worded and really well structured, good dialogue skills and sentences were just right (not too long or short)
Paragraphs were nicely laid out. You also show good emotions with your characters too.

Mark.

[prachi prangya agasti]

Thank you...