Sonnet #2

Sonnet #2

A Poem by justice
"

A sonnet. :)

"

Ancient Justice with translucent blindfold,

frozen in time by gorgoneion gaze,

your power derives from what you now hold:

unbalanced scales with a still sharpened blade.

A man with no shoes walks by with a hitch.

His arms are covered in eagle tattoos.

He reeks of cheap vodka; gives a quick twitch

and softly hums 'bout the red, white and blue.

A man in a suit with gold-lined pockets

drives his new Audi down that very street.

His collar is stained with lipstick secrets.

but for the right price, none know that he cheats.

     In the circle of life, Death shall prevail.

     He'll keep the blade sharp but balance the scale.

© 2010 justice


Author's Note

justice
Let me know what you think. What works/doesn't work/where I can improve/etc. I am looking to improve and take nothing personally. Thank you!

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Featured Review

I agree that it has a very unique and good balance. I am not one to just praise, I try to give constructive criticism but I can honestly say that I think this should be just left the way it is.
At first I was a little lost, but as I continued on the image built, actually creating a nicer effect.
Great Veteran's Day poem, thank you for sharing it with us.
Welcome to Writers Cafe.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I think the story is told well.Personally I like rhyming rhythmic poetry A little bit more To add a melody to the flow ,
But i think you did well

Posted 12 Years Ago


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I love the sonnet ...this is interesting and gritty..

Posted 12 Years Ago


another good one. love the Gorgon reference, eagle tattoed arms, cheap vodka, stained color, life/death circle bit. Goog imagery. Really brings it to life. I know little about sonnets...but, I do know this is good poety.

cheers!


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

beast man spoken like a true poet!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"His collar is stained with lipstick secrets. But for the right price, none know that he cheats." I love that line i wish i'd written it myself. The rhythm of the lines is kinda strange but it's a good poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

my only suggestion is maybe a title as I find them a key piece in intent of the poem.

here though you , the image is as sharp as the blade you speak off , Power of wealth tipping the scales of a hedonistic world ~ balance restored in the end

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I agree that it has a very unique and good balance. I am not one to just praise, I try to give constructive criticism but I can honestly say that I think this should be just left the way it is.
At first I was a little lost, but as I continued on the image built, actually creating a nicer effect.
Great Veteran's Day poem, thank you for sharing it with us.
Welcome to Writers Cafe.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think you balanced it perfectly and got the thought behind it across clearly and effectively through the dual nuances of imagery~
which imagery by the way is extremely moving and poignant~

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I enjoyed this write I really enjoyed this part,

"A man with no shoes walks by with a hitch.
His arms are covered in eagle tattoos.
He reeks of cheap vodka; gives a quick twitch"

This is a very well written write.



Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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9 Reviews
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Added on November 11, 2010
Last Updated on November 11, 2010
Tags: Sonnet, Justice, Death, Sad, Fair

Author

justice
justice

Omaha, NE



About
I am an out of work, out of school, out of luck 21-year-old trying to make it in the world of writing. I am fairly new to sharing my work and I am just looking to improve myself. I welcome ALL critici.. more..

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