I'm the fool

I'm the fool

A Poem by Justin Street

I thought in the back of my mind
No matter what happened
We would be fine

I was (as always) wrong
which is not cool
You took my heart and song
So yes, I am the fool

I’m a guy without defenses
I admit your right
But don’t you dare play the victim
I died that night

You promised and swore
You joked your lie
But what are those words for
You know what you imply

Why did I stay with you
You were so cruel
You have no clue
Again I’m the fool

I thought in the back of my mind
She doesn’t deserve my sadness
Stupid love, is the worst kind

© 2010 Justin Street


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Love that line, Don't you dare play the victim! This is consise and to the point. Excellent write!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Love the flow to it, and can relate perfectly.

Posted 13 Years Ago


So relatable.
The poem's got a great beat and structure to.

Posted 13 Years Ago


love this again it was easy to relate to and the emotion is right on great job

Posted 13 Years Ago


i love this. and i can definately relate to it. awsome write. keep it up. :)))

Posted 13 Years Ago


great write(: & i Love the picture for it(:

Posted 14 Years Ago


This is a really good write.
I like the rhyming(it makes a good flow).
At the end where you mixed it up with the wording was cool,
but you gotta be careful with that because sometimes that could throw your entire poem off.
Although you did it gracefully, so bravo!
I like the subject ,too. It's something everyone can relate to and you really desribed it well.
I hope this helps:).
-Brooke Madison

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Not a bad piece.

The emotion is clear, but the description could have been more detailed. I found your flow a bit choppy and your rhyme sometimes came across as "amateurish". . .
On a more positive note, i like how straightforward you are. and the overall style or format for this is promising. "I’m a guy without defenses, I admit your right..." I'd just suggest better word choice or diction.

Overall, Good Job.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

awe. this is so good! i love how at the beggining it says everything will be fine, but then at the end it switches. and he realizes he didn't have a clear view of what was actually happening. i don't know if that's what you're going for, but that's what i got. you're a good writer. :).

Posted 14 Years Ago


I completely agree....stupid love is the worst kind. You've got a really good rhythm going here. My favorite stanza was:
"I'm the guy without defenses
I admit your right
But don't you dare play the victim
I died that night"
This poem is sad, but it speaks volumes to the reader. Great job.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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701 Views
16 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on May 21, 2010
Last Updated on May 24, 2010

Author

Justin Street
Justin Street

Clarksville, TN



About
Well I am Justin or Jt. I love photography, writing, and ping pong =). I can carry a conversation with pretty much anyone and everyone. =P The thing i love most is reviews =) so make me happy. I still.. more..

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