Hum the (Hindi Poem)

Hum the (Hindi poem)

Kehne ko to me bhi thi, vo bhi tha
Dono ki apni duniya bhi thi
Magar kuch khwab hakikat ke saye me jhulaste reh gaye
Aur hum jahan the vahi adhure reh gaye
Kehne ko to me bhi thi, vo bhi tha

***************************

English Translation:

 

We lived

To say, I lived and he did, as well

we both dwelled in our own worlds

But some dreams just scorched in the shadows of reality

And we stayed where we were in the incompleteness

To say, I lived and he did, as well

Author's Note

My first attempt at Hindi poetry.
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[annalysiar]

Its good well versed you did great

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[annalysiar]

You're welcome

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the logic and the thoughts in the poetry.
"To say, I lived and he did, as well"
Simple and true words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much for the kind review!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Perkele.7885]

For what it says, the poem is fine. But, the poem plays at the edges of saying anything remotely definitive, other than the fact that some dreams scorched the shadows of reality ( but who(s)?) The rest of the poem is politely charming.

I congratulate you on your first attempt at a Hindi poem! I can't even begin to to understand how difficult one must be to write , so I commend your effort.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Both shared the silent dream to be together but for some reason they never took even a single step forward and stayed like that, in their lives as they knew it.

And writing in Hindi is as easy as English, plus the perk that it's the language I speak so.

Thank you very much for your kind review! :)

[Insight "MH"]

That was sad, but the write was beautiful, I felt loads of emotions. Well done my friend.


Insight.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind insightful review..! :)

[Stan Lee]

Hum tere bin ab reh nahin sakte
Tere bina kyaa vajood meraa

Immediately I started humming arijit singh - tum hi ho. Basically because it's my favorite Hindi song and the only one that I can remember all the lyrics. :P

This was a very enjoyable poem. More Hindi poetry please! I really like it and the intrigue of a different language. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Woah! Andrea its a pleasant surprise that you liked my Hindi version! Thank you very much for your kind comment. There are more to come. :) :)

[Bear]

मेरे सपनों को पूरा करने के �™िए उसे, हकीकत, के साये में ज�™ा दिया गया था के �™िए मुझे पसंद की त�™ाश। तो मुझे यह कविता, इसे पढ़ा, ता�™ी के �™िए मुझे आमंत्रित करने के �™िए धन्यवाद करने के �™िए संबंधित कर सकते हैं! ता�™ी! ता�™ी!
Translation:
Like him, I to was burned in shadows of reality, seeking to fulfill my dreams. So I can relate to this poem, thank you for inviting me to read it, Clap!Clap! Clap!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much Bear!
Glad you could relate. Thank you again for the comment in Hindi.

[FaeryQueen]

so cute...................

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you.

[Amy R]

i loved it!
thanks for sharing :)
-Amy

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Amy.

[Amy R]

ur welcome !

[Chirag Kumar]

bohot khub likha hai Jyoti. Hindi aur angrezi, dono mein kavita nikhar rahi hai. Badiya :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Chirag. Yeah meri pehli koshish he, umid karti hu age aur bhi kagaz bharenge.
Dhanyavad!

[Chirag Kumar]

bharte raho. intezaar rahega :)

[Deepak Belbase]

kahne ke liye duniya thi andhere ke saye me
dekhkar hamare pyar ko jhutlati rahi, thukrati rahi
apni bat manwane ko, har ek baat ko mitate gayi
kahne ke liye duniya thi andhere ke saye me.....

This is my tribute to you, you make me write this... i like your sadness, your urge, recalling and the way you wrote... well written piece, a wonderful experience...

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much! I am elated to know my work can inspire such a wonderful piece.

[Deepak Belbase]

yeah! you are most beautiful inspiration I ever have and one of those women whom i really see them as angel! both out of my reach! and Beautiful! gbu

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you.

[Deepak Belbase]

your welcome :-)