" Affliction, Annihilation, Aestivation "

"A description of the states of fear"

Affliction, Annihilation, Aestivation

By: Kaleb G.Berry

 

Most people tremble from fear, where that fear comes from is from within a crying heart.

We do not know where the senseless fustrastions come from, but all we know is how it got there.

When we discover we have this element inside us, this horrible agony of wanting to kill,

It rips our insides to shreds and places huge blocks of reckless stone that crushes our souls.

It is impossible to bear it.

We stay up all night hearing the howls of wolfs and the train going through the trees.

It becomes a habit and this fear makes a home inside of our hearts.

 It even has children who savagely eats everything vital from us; anger, sadness, depression, just to name a few kids.

 It all falters down to make us give up, and just like that, suicide comes into play.

 The ugliest thing known to ending it all of the lives that we cannot stand, cannot breathe or dictate greatness.

 If fear can conquer that much in a person, by him/her just by one infamous thought.

 Then this world is meant to somehow give up and die.

 This verdict is only for the victims of going that far in to hell and beyond.

 Most people blame love, some even blame God.

 Truly in the end you can only blame yourself for letting yourself go that deep in to darkness.

 If you feel ashamed if you ever do don’t be, I was a victim of that darkness

I was turned into a carnival of deceased self-image,

I thought my happiness was extinct and the man in the mirror was good as the ashes of a burned tree.

 Trying to hold my head high I can see my brown eyes dreaming of death and my lips flaring cracks of fire. 

I did not know who I was anymore, not human, nor being. I left an illusion of counter parts all over myself, and my heart was drowning in my own blood.

The food I ate, the things I drank, tasteless, soon I gained apathy for those things.

Slowly I began to die.

Two days became two weeks, and two weeks became two months.

Still I haven’t died, like I wanted to.

My inner self haven’t let myself go.

It kept telling my heart to keep its head over the blood in which it was drowning, and keep beating.

My own tears burned when it touched my skin, going down my cheeks as if it was trying to cleanse me.

Yet

My Spirit did not allow me to fall,

That night after it all been feared,

 After all the insane measures,

I climbed to bed to cry one last time, and with no more tears left to do so.

I screamed.

I yelled the dark verses within myself, telling myself to open my up my eyes, to open my heart, and let me be free.

Swiftly after the intense moment, I fell asleep and began to dream.

The dream of hope, love and kindness,

My dream of living, and being fearless,

My fantasy of holding her in my arms,

My dream of second chance to change who I used to be,

I had dreamed my life.

I woke up, hearing the song believe by Yellow Card

The lyrics rang:

 “Everything is gonna be all alright, be strong; believe”

And so I did.  

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Ain't easy to find reason and purpose to be alive. I try to maintain a smile and a kind words for the people I go near. Your poem dances on the edge of craziness and lost of sanity. I like the ending. The complete poem is amazing. I had to read it a few times because the poem is so good. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Sarah McConnaughey]

That was really good; honest and personal. Well done. :)

[Ruth]

Such a journey, this could work well as spoken word! Awesome flow! It would have a great scanning I think!
xx

[Solitaire-P0ette]

I just read that a second time...and it hit me hard. Now I'm sitn her crying....that was beautiful Kaleb.

[Stella]

That was AMAZING! I loved it. It really makes me think about my life.
Thank you :)

[Magdelena]

WOW! This was amazing. It touched my soul, deep inside.. I felt like I was sitting there, watching, hearing your thoughts.. And your ending, it just blew me away..

I am in awe.

Mags xx