Spiral Pages

We progress forward, always moving farther away from our past experiences, emotions and love but no matter how far we get the expereinces we have had remain with us.

 

Spiral Pages

Jenny Spencer was an interesting character.

Her moods changed with the shift of the wind and her eyes followed whatever interested her.  Dark brown hair that was always tangled in curls covered her face.  Crisp emerald green eyes peered from beyond curled lashes searching for something that weighted heavily on her mind.

I had noticed this expression on her face for several days now.  A cloudy, uncertain haze enveloped her thoughts but did not hinder the routine she normally followed.  I sat across the courtyard on a weathered wooden bench watching her. 

She clutched in her hand a new red notebook.  The cover was still mint and without any creases or imperfections.  This was very uncharacteristic of Jenny’s belongings.  She had a particular style that matched worn clothes that had seen many years of use with tarnished jewelry and footwear that started as a shoe and ended as a sandal. She never carried a notebook that didn’t look to have been buried and beaten for several years.

So, I was intrigued by the sight of a virgin red notebook pressed between her fingers.

Jenny was sitting at a circular metal table outside of the campus coffee shop.  No coffee cup accompanied the table space and she looked out of place.  She sat in a low backed chair, backpack still slung over her shoulder, looking off at the water in the distance.  I didn’t consider this odd but she seemed a little aloof to the world around her, only thinking of what was directly in front of her.

I continued to peer across the yard watching her eyes move to each new point of interest.  Her body sat rigid in the chair, holding the same posture since I sat down.  I could see her hand clutching at the red notebook tightly.  She loosened and tightened her grip several times almost to make sure she still had hold of it.

I watched as she continued to clutch at this interesting new possession.  The frequency and strength of her hand increased as she grabbed at the notebook.  I was watching intently as the notebook tilted forward and slipped from her hand.  I could barely hear a sound as the pages hit the ground but the expression on Jenny’s face would have caused glass to shatter. The red notebook came to a stop only a few feet from the table.  The pages flapped open as the wind rushed by.  Words flashed as air swept the pages foreword finally coming to rest on an empty page.

Jenny’s eyes shifted from the water to the notebook sprawled on the ground.  Her face contorted with fear and her eyes flushed with panic. Standing up quickly her chair fell backward and landed with a clang.  Jenny’s eyes still fixed on the notebook began to fill with tears that streamed down the side of her face.  Panic left her eyes and filled her entire body with a surge.  With a fleeting look Jenny bolted toward the water with incredible speed. 

I rushed across the courtyard and stopped inches from the spiral binding of the notebook.  I knelt down to bring my eyes closer and examine the loose white pages.  I reached for the binding and my fingers brushed the corner of the top page.  My body heaved and went slack causing my legs to crumble underneath me.  My head came to rest on the stone patio directly behind the pristine notebook.  As my eyes readjusted and my head cleared from the pain I could still see Jenny running off in the distance. 

A cold breeze rushed over my body and enveloped the pages on the ground.  They began to turn as my attention changed between Jenny and the lined ivory sheets.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw the last glimpse of her fleeting form as she jumped from the green plateau and into the watery depths below. I exhaled hard and breathed deeply trying to catch my breath.  She was gone.

 I tilted my head back towards the notebook as the pages continued to cycle.  Each page followed the last with an arch; an almost perfect page turn.  It felt as if minutes had gone by as the notebook paged through to the beginning. Each page shined brightly with the same crisp white complexion and unbroken lines.  Each page was empty until the first page came to rest.  Focusing my eyes and tilting my head I strained to read the characters printed on the first line.

A new spiral starts as the last one ends.