Prologue

A witch stumbled into the clearing, the sacred place. Her knees gave way, and she knelt helplessly.

Columns twisted around in a swirling circle surrounded the witch, her black robes engulfing her and she sat, hunched over, bent on her knees, with breathing ragged. Blood trickled down from an open wound by her ribs, it glittered like starlight, the blood of a Selene witch. Before her stood a shadowed figure, finders gracefully entwined in front of them, and a flowing black cloak surrounding them.

“Please,” the witch begged, sweat running down her face, and her voice trembling. “I must ask for a single blessing.”

The witch shifted, groaning with effort as blood poured from her side.

“Ask,” the shadowed figure spoke in a tone of try power, strong and even. 

After a long pause, the witch spoke, her voice merrily a faint murmur.

“My child,” she gasped, clutching at her side desperately. “She is still unborn, I fear my time has come. Save her.”

The Moon witch bowed her head, still breathing harshly, her heart slowing with every gush of blood.

The figure took a step forward and placed a hand on the dying witch’s shoulder.

“I can see, this child of yours is not ordinary,” the figure said, tone still even, unwavering, emotionless.

“Yes,” the witch gasped, though the touch of the figure eased the pain. “Her father-”

“A Helios wizard,” the figure interrupted.

“Please,” the witch begged again, her voice stronger, but fading. “Will you save her?”

The figure stood and moved away, returning to small circle etched in the ground.

“I will, she will live though… I see much hardship in her future.”

“Thank you,” the witch whispered, tears sparkling in her eyes, both from joy and pain.

“Dontol te phectis, mantassipeh conviect,” the figure spoke.

Go up to the heaven, sleep precious one.

With a wave of the figures hand, the witch slumped to the side, her agony down with her life. Two small orbs of light floated from her heart. One was her spirit, released from her broken body.

The second orb floated to the figures fingers, slowly a little motionless, breathless child formed around the orb. It was still, unknowing as the figure disappeared.

They rematerialized at a small cottage, tucked back from the street, were the figure placed the child on the doorstep and whispered one last thing.

“Cendallis den yet falnessa y sentalis, ci mukdelanti.”

Daughter of moon and sun, breath for the future.

And the baby breathed its first breath, and then began to cry.

Author's Note

The prologue of a story I've been working on, if you guys like it I might post the first chapter, enjoy!

Reviews

[Tashida]

So i'm not the first to say this but HELL YES YOU HAD BETTER POST THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!!! this is like waaaayyyy too interesting not too. I'm already speculating about the baby's future. I have too many questions. You need to answer them so yes post the first chapter.

[ReedWrite]

I think you have a great start here.
Be careful with some of your adjectives and adverbs. For example, this line: After a long pause, the witch spoke, her voice merrily a faint murmur.

We are in this dark scene...the witch is wounded and dying...and begging a favor for an unborn child...and her voice is 'MERRILY' a murmur? That completely takes the reader out of the moment you're trying to create. One thing that can help is to read it out loud to yourself...HEAR what you're writing...and see if it makes sense to you...then edit to clean things up. You have a great story line...hang in there.

[Farrsight]

I think that this has a lot of potential! It leaves me wondering. Which is good!

When he says "she will live though" I'd put the ... between the live and the though, not between the though and the I. Idk if that makes any sense. But this is really nice!

[Catherine]

Nice prologue, short and sweet, brings us into the atmosphere that you're creating as you paint a scene that gives us the chills. Well done : )

[Sira YR]

OMG Yes! Post the next chapter. This prologue is too intriguing for you to not do so. I love it!

[matrixmark]

Good atmospheric beginning. The descriptives were pretty tasty. I like how you changed the language when the spell casting was being made. You left it on a killer of a line which will bring the reader back for more.
Couple of things - watch the witch's tenses, they seem to be a little all over the place sometimes.
Grammar wise, it is good.

Thank you for taking me into another world.

Mark.