Drowning

Drowning

 

The rain falls down and puddles up around my ankles. Thunder isn’t near enough to equal the shameless bellow of your roar.  Shut behind these doors. I ignore thoughts of you.

 

As I stand here I think of my skin. I can visualize peeling the enmity that you left in my veins, out of me. Shaving your anger off, letting new growth begin.

 

Reaching for you, I clutch at anything that might be left that is good. Days of you longing to cling to me. Now you are transparent like the clearest drops of rain. Reality hits I’m still standing in the same puddle I’ve been sinking in.

 

Once I was flawless. My tongue was virginal. The way you would talk to me was pure. Now your sound echoes. Old and vintage, like bronze tarnished. I feel as if I am always being punished. Your weight pulling me under I’m being drowned.

 

Feeling your sincerity was feeling your fire inside. Gratification was typically denied. Please understand intimacy loved you it burned in my soul. Your passion has grown so cold. I know my eagerness goes unreturned.

 

Unattached and isolated, I can’t believe you can be so boisterous. I too have felt forsaken. Cast off to wallow in the shallow tears, which roll off my nose and onto my lips. I cry for togetherness. I cry to remember the crashing of our hips.

 

My smile has gone. Upward glances have vanished. You seem to do more than fine. You've been successful at escaping from my life. I’m still disoriented, looking down at my mirrored reflection. I need to relinquish you. I need to run from this Eden.

 

The rain starts to mimic an air attack. No longer is this natural or serene. The loudness makes my ears ring. Unbalanced without you near I lose track. Wanting the lightning to stop. Why can’t these waters be tranquil again?

 

You say I’m crazy and delusional. Screaming this love is terminal. When I hear I fear this will be fatal. You say this love is at its end. I live in a fantasy where there is daylight and we can be us again.

 

You are agitated and distant, you boil over my emotions. I am smoldering and connected. Causing imminent danger, to the woman you once loved with all of your heart. Aggressively forced to make a new start.

 

K.S. 4/29/13

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Reviews

[Shay]

Thank you for sharing. I really liked the word usage and theme within the poem. The emotion within it helped tie each phrase together.

[Forgiven]

I can feel the intensity, the emotional depth and pain. Awesome job!

[Clove]

Very strong emotional thoughts. I may not understand what your trying to say of the situation you are going through. But I know what it's like to have heart-loss, I have lost a lot of friends due to lies being spread about me.

[readybob]

Strong emotion. like anyone else, i do not know your pain, however, i have known heart-loss. Imho, just like the vast majority of my work, needs refinement from an objective view..It is a good writing and the pic that accompanies, the work is a nice touch.

R

[readybob]

Strong emotion, excellent verbage, will save to my library, and after printing and thought, will define..good prose and i seems on inherent message lost to me at this moment.

Robert

[Patrick O'Neil]

Very strong image and sad, the knowing that sometimes we are "Aggressively forced to make a new start.".
I like this lines: "Reaching for you, I clutch at anything that might be left that is good. " , "You say I’m crazy and delusional. Screaming this love is terminal. " , "You've been successful at escaping from my life.". They tell a story of broken love. Well written.

[Zero_Edge88]

"In the wildest moments, there was a time I found myself looking at what is you and I - an us. I thought the world has forgotten about our moment because surely we have left them for miles and miles away. We saw them further away as we drifted constantly and conscientiously where the mile of despair was further and the click of hope is within sight.

Then a tempest came, we held onto each other. For what rowing I did my best to hold onto you, no longer I wanted the boat afloat, the thought of losing you was even worse for a plank of wood is but what I would give you a way to make you feel safe. After all what is but the plank used for as my biggest support was you and I wanted you alive and safe.

Alas, it has come to pass the tempest as we are left still in this bowl of water we are crossing for miles and miles. Desperation is catching on as hope is slinking away you say to save me was a waste but I tell you that the waste was for something. The thought of you was the thought I wanted to rescue because you were the thought I wanted to pass onto. I find that no matter how far I came your the distance I often thought that you were right here.

Your heart, one of few true feelings I have for you, do not drown my dear. I find that the boat that has capsized us has kept us few planks for us to save you in these cerulean skies we are drifting apart from. Your soul, another of those feelings I believe you are entitled to because what these oceans and skies have in common with that soul of yours is they are deep, vast and full of infinite possibilities even in the deep reaches of space your soul is that immeasurable. Your mind, a construct of complexity and simplicity infused in the eyes of the cosmos, written so deeply and vastly containing information that seeks out not only for its fruits of knowledge but the beauty you possess to attribute it to your humanity.

Do not drown, float on and away for your buoyant soul is one that is meant to keep those above their heads guided to safe haven as you will be brought to. For the unrelenting soul you have, carry it on and forward with it. That is the wish of this captain. This seaman as its voyage is strictly to keep you safe until you make wave peace to your new land."

You are not alone, do not drown rather float as your heart is the jacket that will keep you safe as your soul will be the plank of wood to keep you above your head and when you need to rest it will be that comfort for you.

[readybob]

omg, to me as an elder, this is just saying enough to justify another chance. If you get it, maybe good, for you or her is undefinable. Reading as a male, between the lines, it is crap in a bucket.