The Fight Inside One's Mind

A part of me now wonders if I have made the right choices-

But sitting up in bed, I drown out the ringing voices.

Up inside my head, there are beings whispering inside,

Telling me all of the things that I so desperately want to hide.

 

"You know a part of you still longs-

A part of you still loves.

The only place that you belong

Is so said to be above."

 

"But is there anything there-

If you go, what will await?

Surely there cannot be

An old man clothed in White?"

 

"It is not what waits above-

But rather what's below.

You'll be damned to Hell

Where no pity shall be shown."

 

"But after all

 That's where you belong.

You weren't made to fly

But you were made to fall."

 

No, I must not find myself believing.

I must be sure that the blade is kept in hiding.

No matter what they say, I must keep from bleeding.

I am strong and willed, not the type to be abiding.

 

"But that cold metal pressed against your skin...

The lovely shine and feel.

Don't you love when the point slips in,

And drowns out what is real?"

 

"Do you not like to watch

The red as it spills out?

How it forms in little pools

And if deep enough does spout?"

 

"Do you think you honestly can stay

Away from the urges we represent?

You cannot deny your past...

We're still here in the present."

 

"Things will be easier if you just let us help.

I promise that the cuts will be small-

They'll barely even swell.

It'll be just like a tiny red waterfall."

 

No, I must not.

The slipping in my old ways-

It has to stop.

Please just leave- just go away.

 

"How can you run

From what's in your head?

We're there when you wake up,

We're here when you go to bed."

 

"Besides you know you like the high

Of the drugs and of the blades.

You cannot get much better

Than what they do create."

 

"Just keep pushing limits-

Trust me, you'll be okay.

After all you're supposed to experiment.

Just take it day by day."

 

"Who care's if you don't know what you're doing?

Who cares what you are labeled?

You are just trying new things-

After all, you are enabled."

 

So quietly I lay back and nod.

I am fine, after all.

Who cares if I just fall off-

It's a tiny waterfall.

 

I don't care

If I don't know what I do.

I will be okay

If I slip away from what's real and true.

 

Just forget the pain.

Become consumed by drugs and sex.

After all, in this world...

It's the only thing that lasts.

Reviews

[Jeff]

Wonderful piece. Very emotional.

[Grimesy]

Very deep and raw. I loved every moment. There is a demon in all of us and this describes it well. Thanks for writing.

[Antoñyo]

Wow...this powerful piece speaks so effectively in raw emotion and the turmoil of youth and growth.
Today is all there is, so easily believed when the truth is better days (and nights) are ALWAYS ahead...
but the underlying voices, the deceit, the easy way out...all too often listened to when in fact you are worth so much more....as made obvious in this writing alone!

Thanks for this 100/100 share

[Kaitlyn Raiford]

Thank you so much.

[Antoñyo]

You're very welcome.