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A Poem by DoucheFuck;;

Just a shadow.
You're everything I want to be;
A figment of my imagination.
And I'd love if you could be me.


Smile for the win,
Live for the high.
For we will always be
The ones that never die.


The sparks have been created.
I blew them out last night.
The commitment started to scare me.
I backed out from fright.


The love we share is distant,
Quite possibly impure.
I'd love to make you love me,
'Cause I think you're my cure.


The things you used to tell me,
They hide inside my mind.
"How does it make you feel,
When an addict cuts for YOU this time?"

How d'you think I feel inside?

You hurt me more than you should,
I still can't help but adore,
Everything you are, I want to change.
Please help me shut my door.

You're no longer bittersweet,
The taste you leave is vile.

As opposites don't really attract.
You're just the monkey on my back.
I just WISH I could give you back.
I'll load your coffee cup with smack.

Its bittersweet.

© 2008 DoucheFuck;;

Author's Note

"Bittersweet" should be heard as a whisper, not as words. Like a slight noise that you hear distantly in the background. Oh, and I thought the colours made the poem seem happier. It made me laugh a bit. =]

My Review

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I've read your poem several times in an attempt to find out what your main point is. Is the narrator trying to get rid of the monkey? Win at love? Share the monkey? What? It's not clear enough. I do think most of the rhymes come easily and are not forced. As for the colors, I am an old-time poet who prefers the poem to stand on its own merit without pictures or colors or different size fonts.

DF, it's obvious to me you like writing poetry and probably keep a notebook filled with them, right? Keep it up. I think you have poetic talent and, judging from your photo, you're young enough to build on that talent by learning more and more about poetry and writing more and more poems.

All in all, I did like your poem.


Posted 14 Years Ago

Nice ,
The last stanza took my breath away :-). A sharp quick change and a decision made.
The anger really shouts out there.
Not sure about the coloured fonts but to each their own


Posted 14 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on September 26, 2008




I'm Christina. I write about things that happen, things that I want to happen, things that I think should happen. I try to be heartfelt, and sincere. But, thats not always how it works out. I'm a comp.. more..