Giving a "Rat's A*s"

My take on the meaning of the phrase "rat's a*s."

 

Giving a “Rat's A*s”

 

Written on July 19^th, 2009

 

        Sadly they do not have a category here on MySpace that says, "Random." Well rest assured my readers that this is just one of those types of blogs. I was chatting with my good friend Shanna Wynne on yahoo tonight about men and such. Mostly the conversation goes back and forth from the random and insane to the real and mundane. Well when we were talking about the "mundane", I was mentioning how I'm tired of men not giving a rat's a*s about me or my feelings. Well, needless to really say, that sparked a whole other conversation and this is what I have devised from those couple of hilarious lines.

 

        When someone says that they don't/do give a rat's a*s, what does that really mean anyway? Is someone willing to go to a local pet store, buy such a creature, bring it home (and maybe even name it) before chopping the little critter in half with a butcher knife? I can just imagine myself doing such a thing, as satirical nonsense rather than that of borderline crazy. Now picture this, you're sitting around just hanging out with your best friend or someone you know well and they are talking about something that holds absolutely no interest for you. Let's say your buddy is talking about the latest hairstyle on Justin Timberlake's head. Now picture yourself pulling out this half a rat from your pocket by the tail and telling this other person, "Frankly, I would give this to you, but I just don't want to!" I can just picture the look of pure shock washing over that person's face followed by that of horrified retching as they have gazed so willingly at my rat's a*s.

 

        Now, let's say you do give a rat's a*s about something or someone. How do you go about doing that? Let's see, take for instance that the day is currently Valentine's Day and that you've got a girl who has just about everything she could ever ask for. You're going through the aisles of Macy's, Wal-mart and the local sex shops to find your sweetie the perfect gift and as usual, you can't find something suitable for her. Imagine going up to your girl, handing her this pretty pink and red wrapped box with a lovely white ribbon and her name on it; all the while telling her, "I hope you like it." I can see this woman unwrapping her gift and her eyes start bugging out of her head with surprise at what is inside. Let's just say that this is not the horrified look that was noted in my first scenario. No, no, my friends, quite the opposite. This is a look coupled with ecstasy and glee. "Aww, baby, you do care! I'll keep it for always!" The next thing you know, you have a 20 year-old rat carcass nailed to your wall for all to see. And of course, your now wife proudly points it out and says, "See that rat's a*s, my husband does love me! He gave that to me for Valentine's Day!"

 

        And that is my blog for today, tune in for more random thoughts as I am sure that there will be several more to come. Enjoy and comment, would love to know if I've disgusted you or brightened up your day with my nonsense. :D

Reviews

[D.K. Roberts]

Very good point. I've often thought this myself. I like your humor.