Pieces

With the broken mirror laying at my feet, my mouth went dry. It was gone. It was all gone. I covered my mouth with my hands and took deep breaths through trembling fingers. Each precious piece made up a delicate, crystal soul. How could I live if I didn't return each to its place? I wouldn't ever be able to see myself again. I would completely lose sight of who I am.

The silence in the room doesn't last long as voices resume to fill the void. I've stopped breathing, my heart a frantic beat in my chest. After recovering from the shock, the teacher loops around his desk and approaches. "Are you okay?"

I manage a slight nod and brush glass from my back pack. When I stand, the dust falls like powdered sugar as crunches sound beneath my shoes. "All right, all right, everyone," the teacher claps his hands together, "get to class. This doesn't excuse any tardies."

I force slow breaths in and out of my lungs as I pass the dormant softball on my way to the door. Everyone's eyes are still burning into me. Swallowing down sand, I remain at the back of the line, trying to avoid the curious glances.

I brushed some glass off my backpack by my feet and prepared to leave. I didn't care for this mystery. It felt like the quicker I changed classes and continued through my day the quicker it would end and I could go back home and lay down in the darkness of my room with headphones on and the world off. 

"Sorry," a bored voice said from behind. It's sincerity was lacking, "I'll fix it." 

"What are your parents going to say about this?" the teacher roared with a dominant attitude.

"They won't care," I heard a familiarity in his voice even as I was leaving the room and it held a certain nostalgia that I couldn't ignore. I stopped in the middle of the stream of kids shoving their way out the door and looked back through the empty frame where a window had been only minutes before. 

The boy was taller than me by a few inches and his black hair was pulled off one ear and fell over one eye like a mask of mystery. His eyes were uninterested and the one that was visible was half closed. Something led me to stare at him. He seemed, in appearance, like me yet opposite seeing that he was fairly handsome with a set, firm jaw line and a decently muscular build. His lips had a dull pink color that fitted a boy and his lower lip had snake bite piercings that fit his character. 

The odd feeling I got from him was somehow peaceful. I had no idea what it was. It wasn't love, it wasn't even a like. It was as if I'd known him my whole life. As if I could feel his very soul. 

The teacher continued to lecture about being careful and I saw clearly his boredom grow as he looked past the object of annoyance. First he scanned the crowd of people who were still watching the show or talking with friends glad to use this event as an excuse to skip some class time, but then his gaze fell upon me. And I could almost swear he felt the same understanding that I had. He cracked a strange smile. It was strange because it was mixed with a smirk and a childish wonder. 

I raised an eyebrow finding the whole situation compelling and confusing. I shook my head to erase thoughts of wonder and importance between us. Two people who had never spoken a word to one another. If I get my hopes up or come to the conclusion that there is any feeling of sameness between us I am only setting myself up to be hurt. I turned and walked out the door hearing only a few more words from him in that familiar tone above the murmur of the crowd, "hey, it was a mistake. An accident. I can learn from it, right? This is a place of education. Learning is what I'm supposed to do." It was true and ironically put in a cocky tone that sang of confidence and defiance. How could I have ever thought we were similar...? There isn't a single confident bone in my body. 

~~~

I tried to eat lunch alone at a table in the corner but insults continued to float my way. 

"Hey, emo, your dessert looks good. You could afford to lose a few pounds also."

I'd probably die... but nevertheless I didn't object when the pudding cup was taken off my tray. I trembled with hatred. Why do people... why... why? 

I heard muffled taunts from a few tables down and then someone stood up and hollered across the room, "Any new scars, emo?!" 

The room erupted with laughter. It wasn't witty. It wasn't funny. It was painful but no one cared. They felt by laughing they could belong with that group. It would set them apart from me. And that's what they cared about.

I finished my sandwich and was about to stand up when someone sat down. I looked up and saw the same boy who broke the glass. I felt like I was on TV. I could feel all eyes looking at us. 

"Aww, Emo love~" a girl across the room teased as more conversation floated around.

He stared at me for a few seconds as if the raging insults didn't bother him in any way. Or maybe they did but he didn't let it show. His poker face was impenetrable. 

"What's your name?" he asked simply. Too simply. Why was he even here...? I subtly glanced around for cameras before looking back at him and finding a domineeringly raised eyebrow above his single, visible, glaring eye. 

"Cyndi..." I whispered feeling slightly intimidated by him.

"Dalen," he continued with his interrogation, "What're your ambitions?" by now the lunch room had become uninterested in us and buzzed with natural conversation.

"Ambitions...?" I asked.

"What do you want to do? What's the most important thing to you right now?" he clarified and I thought for a second while I relaxed.

"I'd like to fit in... maybe if I fit in then I wouldn't always be insulted...Life could be easier."

He scoffed. Not a demeaning one though. It was more a deep laugh that rang out like 'seriously??' He shook his head and smirked at me, "Fit in? You think that you wouldn't be insulted if you fit in? No matter where you fit in there will always be someone ready to attack. 'Sides, why would you want to 'fit in'? Are you a puzzle piece? Or a beautiful picture on your own?"

He stood up while I was still shocked at his words.

"See you around, Cyndi," he lazily waved as he walked away to leave me alone with my thoughts. 

I could see a beautiful picture in him. And, who knows, I may be a beautiful picture... or I might have been. Right now I just feel like a bunch of broken pieces.