Is Any Of This Real?

Is Any Of This Real?

A Chapter by KaoticOrder

Depersonalization disorder

Is any of this real?
Or Am I living in a dream?
I can see, but I can't feel
Nothing is how it seems

I'm looking at the world as an observer
The outsider looking in
I know how to fake to be like human, quick learner
But I'll never be one of them

And I a human?
Am I alive?
I feel lost in my skin
Look at the mirror, I don't know the person inside

Doctors picked apart my brain
But they have no idea why I am the way I am
I can fake emotions all I can
But it doesn't change the fact I feel nothing.

© 2015 KaoticOrder

Author's Note

Depersonalization Disorder is described as having a lack of understanding between reality and imagination, feeling like your life or yourself is "unreal" or a "Dream." You feel detached from yourself, your mind, and your body - Like feeling uncomfortable in your skin, or even not human.
Depersonalization Disorder is an Dissociative disorder that the cause is undentifyed, though it's triggers can be linked to drug use and emotional abuse.

It's very hard to understand and describe, a good song that describes what it's like to have this disorder is Vinnie Paz "Is Happiness Just A Word?"

My Review

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how was i to know that such a pure hearted person was meant to have such a difficult start in life.
I myself have been through much suffering in my life as well ( being in mental institutions) not an easy ride i know.
we persevere because in a human beings nature we believe in the best things and seek the adventures
that await us to make each day exciting
and make each day the best we can not to put a blind eye to an offering hand , I love you more than just a guy loving a girl. i love you as one universal being loves another sending mutual understanding and care
Take care my dear and may our paths cross where you decide =~]

Posted 7 Years Ago


7 Years Ago

Thanks for the review.
Sadly, one thing I have learned about life is no one really has a easy.. read more

7 Years Ago

life can be extremely painful and full of sorrow yet i know equally there can be great strength and .. read more

7 Years Ago

Very true. Some things in life are hard, but not meant to destroy us completely, but rebuild us.

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1 Review
Added on April 20, 2015
Last Updated on April 20, 2015
Tags: depersonalization disorder, depression, empty



Essex, MD

My name is Nerissa, but I go by Kaos on most writing sites. I am a twenty two year old aspiring writer and a stay at home Mother of a darling little angel named Sabrina. Began writing as dabbles an.. more..