The Shrinking Woman

Late night musings over the masterpieces the world has never been able to see because the confidence of so many young creatives; mainly women; is spurned.

There once was a girl

who believed so true

she would take on the world

as most young people do. 

But little by little 

every nasty old churl

would scoff and belittle 

that bright young girl

with a smile that beams

now with her head in a whirl

finding her sense of self brittle

her destiny never given

the chance to unfurl.

Now it so seems 

She is shorter than we was

when she had dreams

and all because

self deprecation teems.

As she grew older

and was now a teen

her demeanor grew colder

and her aspirations lean.

Nearly nothing remained

of that bright young sheen

her confidence stained

Her inspiration wiped clean.

As of now it appears

She’s smaller now than she was

in her younger years

And all this because

of those horrible smears

that had her believe she had flaws

shedding so many tears

as they dug in with their claws.

Years came and went

she is now grown

but her back is bent

and no reapings were sown.

For never did she plant

the seeds for success

'cause she kept saying “I can’t!”

and would never progress

past the size of an ant

who thought herself less

doomed to repeat that terrible chant

and only repress.

If she could have done great things

is anyone's guess

The talents she'd bring

with all her finesse

Can never be known

or ever admired

no legacy sewn

because of the way she was wired.

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I get the intent of this rhyming poem. I enjoyed it up to line 8 but line 9 seems somewhat disconnected. There is also, as is the case with rhyming, of following the rhyme and not the meter and pace and patency of the story as tenses seem to switch around.

[Karissa A. Kelly]

From lines 9 to 18, I wanted the sortof broken rhymes to leave the reader with the same dissatisfied feeling with the broken rhythm as our character felt as her momentum was stopped short. Symbolism, if you will. I probably should have put a disclaimer haha

[Tom]

It's interesting to look for a response to a poem about harsh criticism and dashed dreams. Your writing has great clarity. I don't enjoy how this piece leans so heavily into self pity, but there is still a lot you offer the reader. Impressive rhythm in the second stanza is a delight to the ears. The honesty and vulnerability is moving, even if I find it a bit too forthcoming. Great poem.

[Karissa A. Kelly]

Thank you for taking the time to review! Most appreciated.

[Chris Shaw]

A tale of lost opportunity and lack of confidence. Now say after me I can, I can, I can. This poem brought memories back of Augustus, who wouldn't eat his soup and got thinner and thinner. A favourite rhyme when I was a child.

Chris.

[Karissa A. Kelly]

Thank you so very much for your review! Even though the overall tone of the poem is quite sad, I'm nonetheless glad my work could bring back fond memories for you. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. :)