Escape

I'm stuck here,
Chained to this prison,
Trapped in the horrible darkness,
And barely living in the chaos

Of my mind's asylum.

How can I escape myself?
I've tried so hard,
But the chains just won't break.
The darkness is slowly taking control,
And soon I will be nothing,
Just a shadow in the dark,
Fading away into nothing but a memory.

Pain is only a temporary escape.
It reminds me that I'm still here,
That I can still feel something
Other than the chaos that controls me.

But it won't be long,
Before I can't feel anything.
My mind will block that out
To make sure that I will never escape.

Maybe there is no escape,
Other than death.
I'm not sure what frightens me more...
Death
Or my mind taking over.

With death,
There comes peace,
happiness,
eternal song.
Or there is nothing.
Just an empty blackness forever,
With other lost and grieving souls.
Souls that were trapped,
Trapped within their own insanity,
Trapped within their own minds,
Who chose death as their escape.

But if I stay,
The chaos will control me,
Manipulate me,
Form me into someone I don't want to be.
I would be a slave to my mind,
Never able to do as I choose,
Always frightened of what it might do.
And soon I would forget myself,
Lost and confused,
In the darkness of my mind's asylum.

Death seems like the best option.
With death I have a chance.
I have a chance at the everlasting peace,
A chance to hear the angels sing.

With the image of beautiful angels,
Life slips away.
I feel the chains break loose,
And the darkness falls,
Revealing a blinding,
Yet enchanting light.

The cold, suffocating air
Melts into a warm summer breeze
Filled with the scent of rosemary and sage.

The most beautiful sound reaches my ears
As I walk up the carpet to the golden gates
At the entrance of the Lord's kingdom.
The angels,
Far more beautiful than anyone could imagine,
Are singing near the gates,
Their wings seeming to glow in the heavenly light.

As I reach forward to open the gates into paradise,
The angels shake their heads.
It's not your time.
You must go back.

With a terrifying jolt,
The golden carpet beneath my feet disappears,
The suffocating, cold air comes back,
I am falling,
down,
down,
down,
Back to earth and my body.

Back to the hell of my mind's asylum.

Author's Note

I wrote about half of this a month ago and then set it down and forgot about it...I found it again this morning and finished it up. :)
This is a bit different than what I usually write, but I'm glad that I actually got something written.
Please let me know what you think. :D

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this this poem. A mental battle to find peace where peace is hard to find. I like the flow of the story and the ending.
"Pain is only a temporary escape.
It reminds me that I'm still here,
That I can still feel something
Other than the chaos that controls me."
Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Brianna]

Katie this is amazing.. I had no idea you could write like this. I wish I could, nothing I ever write really has any meaning to it. haha anyway, this is really good. You should write more like it. Dig deeper, this poem has a lot of power behind it's words. I watched it fold out in my mind, and it felt like I was trapped in your mind with you. I could see the dank cold walls inside the dark room, and I got goosebumps...
Keep writing, I can't wait to see you published some day :)
-Chey :)

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Really cool and beautiful! It really shows the details of a powerful internal conflict!