A Daughter's Revenge

dear father, 

i have committed the ultimate revenge:

i reached my hand 

behind the grey, croaking bars of my ribcage

where i found the solemn thing beating, 

tucked in the corner facing the haunted wall

like a lump of shivering rose salt,

wet from too much consideration of your neglect,

wave after wave, reason after reason;

and then a long pause ensuing, i scooped it up,

not without careful, careful consideration,

many over-analytical nights to contemplate

the fragile scale of risk versus reward,

and i slowly pulled it out,

turned my back completely towards you,

and placed it in the palms of another man.

oh father, i see you are so angry,

and i am very, very glad..

and hurt.

your inflamed eyes widen, 

a roar of rejection emerges from your pitch black mouth 

with the inflection of an injured crow pitching its fury,

announcing to the world what it will and will not allow, 

cloaked in foggy, feathered panic and pride, 

and how i wish it was because of normal worry,

like other fathers who tenderly protect their rose trees

and the ripe fruits of their labored nurturement

in the garden of their warm homes.

but you are instead betrayed by the lack of control,

by the unstable shift and movement beneath your feet 

because of the powerful, Greek barge i had built

to keep your raging mass afloat,

higher than the tireless splashes of your self-sabotage,

accepting the brunt force of your persistent mistakes,

allowing it to crack my bones repeatedly for your sake,

like a trollish ram slammed unceasingly into a castle gate,

until i thought i’d surely break,

the colorful city of my soul exposed to your monochrome hate.

loyalty, father. care.

my battered flesh and crippled voice

proved little to you of your enormous weight,

the pressures you had placed against my skinny windpipe,

twisting your thick wrist at your leisure to lower my volume sharply,

until i could be turned to the left no further, necked snapped into quietness,

that would keep me obedient and you safe.

try to look closer, father;

the bruises you left your little girl in the sun,

and the monsters you left under her bed at night. 

but time was destined to work against you and i have grown.

your veil has been shattered and so, my song begins.

watch how this man carries my heart, father,

like a treasured snowflake cradled against his gentle, affectionate fingers;

watch how he melts me 

with a simple touch of kindness,

of good listening and laughter,

his protective arms leaving perfect space for my breath,

as i inhale his love so deeply,

a better air in my blood,

a soft caress to my healing cheeks,

an attentive and thoughtful gaze,

a bright smile on his mouth to wash out the darkness.

watch as i kiss his lips

every single day

so there isn’t a single speck 

of you

left behind.

Reviews

[Perdition]

Dear God!! When I read this for the first time I thought for sure every line was the last, but on and on it went and not a single moment did I think or wanted it to stop. This is just as gorgeous as it is painful and mesmerizing. In short, I suppose it is "real" that rare form of poetry that always transcends the heart..your "Greek" barge was nothing shy of genius. Thank you for sharing something as painful as this must have been.

[Arundass TP]

A poem on revenge and relation ships. Nice poem.

[Ranger Kessel]

Abuse is no easy thing to or just got over. I can feel passion in your words as well as restraint. A nice write

[KWP]

Yeah wow. This reads like a very long exhalation. A letting go. A goodbye. This piece has strength and the word play vivid. I feel it can be shortened for impact, I drifted once or twice. I stumbled here and glad I did - this writing is refreshing and a step up. If there is any truth in the words, I feel you have the strength to keep going. Well done on the words.

[Kay]

Thank you kindly for your review! I totally understand your suggestion to shorten things - after rereading, I can see where it might overstep its welcome. I sincerely appreciate your feedback, especially your comment that the feeling you experienced from this was a "long exhalation". Definitely a sensation I was hoping for.

[Chris Shaw]

A powerful piece of writing. Not one I can easily understand because I had a great relationship with my Dad. However, an abusive relationship could easily lead to the father being dismissed altogether in favour of someone who was able to evoke positive emotions rather than those negative ones like hurt and fear. Beautiful description when speaking of the positive traits of another man.

Well done Kay. Excellent piece.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Kay,

This happens all too often, either physical or mental abuse or both...the father becomes estranged from the daughter who at first fears him and then becomes cold towards him....I know several women who have experienced this exact situation and then found comfort in their significant others.
He gives her what she needs, support, love, acknowledgement of her importance...
It still hurts, it scars, but it does help to make up for some of what the badly bruised heart has experienced.
Powerful piece of writing here, Kay.
j.

[Kay]

So true. I think it's a subject that seems common sense from the outside, but it's certainly a tough one to unravel and heal from. How do we learn to embrace "nurturing" as a necessary quality in a father figure and expand our understanding that "masculine" AND "feminine" traits are necessary to become a healthy parent. How do we transform our culture to help fathers self-reflect on what it means to represent a good role model for the type of person they would want their daughters to marry.. instead of her chasing his opposite to escape her injury? Props to the great dads out there of course!

Parents have more power to damage than they may perceive, and that wound can follow into adult life like a scab that itches; you scratch it, it bleeds, and then scabs again. Repeat. Let's aim to prevent the cuts from the beginning as much as possible.

Thank you for stopping by, Jacob!

[R.J Calzonetti (Siniste..]

What an amazing poem. This would be great to hear at a poetry slam. I’m not much for reviews, but thanks for sharing.