rantings 004 thought I'd something more to say

A Story by kenny

so I just returned from the worst trip ever. Glad I went, but it was far from a cakewalk. but now, I'm back, and couldn't be happier to return to what I want, which is a life with a job, a woman, and good times.

So what to rant about? courage. What is courage? to me, it is the presence of fear and overcoming it. Not necessarily being fearless, but dealing with your fear. What are my fears? I have no physical fears, (other than roaches, I'm not even afraid of spiders...just roaches...) but my biggest fear, is to live my life without a great woman by my side. So how do I overcome that fear? and why bother in the first place?

If I can't overcome the fear, I appear (and pretty much am) clingy. Something that most (lets face it almost all) see as a negative. People like to be themselves, and are often annoyed when they can't be, and see clingers as a hindrance. Also if I never overcome the fear, my mentality alone will prevent me from having a woman, as I will never picture myself succeeding. I will never be able to actually do it. there is a lot to be said for state of mind.

So how do I overcome that fear? well for everyone it's a personal battle, but for me, what works is reminding myself, that no matter what, things will work out. There is no punishment for not having a woman, no punishment for failure of any sort, simply love and not love. So far, it's working. Been at the more easy going pace for about a month now. Not pushing so hard, and focusing more on just being me. I'm sure I'll have another rant on whether or not that is successful