Crystal Sea

Please take me,

To that crystal sea,

Where your arms,

Welcome me

 

In joyous praise,

I long to give,

So much love,

As you once did

 

Your waves wash,

From sea to shore,

It is only you,

That I adore

 

In you alone,

I place my trust,

A love to keep,

In the ocean deep.

Reviews

[Just Manoosh]

I like the flow of this but it feels like the start of something..... like there is more to come?

I would almost add a complete change of pace, an ending perhaps, but thats just my thought.... It is always a compliment when you inspire other writers to write, so well done honey.

"For then you came....

You tore at me until I broke,
Lashed at my heart and made it choke.
In your sodden arms I cried,
....You squeezed at me until I died".

Mx

[Lindsey]

This is beautiful and lovley. I like the way it was arranged and it was joyously wounderful. I like it!

[J.Black]

Congratulations Julian on your achievement with this delicate poem. I wish I had reviewed it sooner- when I was pondering across this site in secret after leaving. The images are so vivid and crisp; clear like the flow of water trickling down a ink stained page. The water submerged these words together angelically! Well done.

[deeps]

I really like this it's wonderful
and beautiful

[Surrealstorm]

I Think this flows so nicely! I like the short lines and to me it doesn't seem like it needs to be long and drawn out. Its short and sweet with a good rhythm that makes it memorable. Great write!

[Ama May Cooper]

Such a beautiful flowing tale, of a painful but free love. Sweet and kind. i really liked this piece a beautiful write

[Stacey Watts]

I like this piece very soft with a romantic feel. The words seem to float on the page. Very beautifully written. It flows really well. Well done.

[Sean M. Addams]

I really like this piece imagery is well done and flow is perfect... overall a very well done write.... rhyme was good in this too..fav lines...Your waves wash,

From sea to shore,.......... this part was breath taking to me....

It is only you,

That I adore

[Amaunet]

I see you got mixed reviews on this one. And while normally I only give you my personal opinion, I feel I must also look at the reviews as well, in hopes that it helps.

Yes the lines are short, but it keeps one's eyes moving through the poem. Not all poems are ment to be lengthy, some stand magnificent just as asort bursts. As I think this one does. Also contrary to another thing, the change of your rhyme doesn't throw me off balance, it shows both versitility and flexibility.

Poetry, at least for me, is not rigid and unchanging. It's free flowing and ever changing. Just as life and people are ever changing.

For me your subtle changes are viewed as a metephore to just how changable life and circumstances are.

Good... No Ecellent Job!

[Angelic Darkness]

This is beautiful and flowed very nicely. The rhyming was also
good, and the words connected well together. AD

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I agree with Manoosh. The lines are so short that, if combined together, they would only create one stanza. Another thing that throws the poem off balance is the abrupt change in rhyme scheme at the end. All things considered, I think you had a spark of creativity that quickly dimmed. I think it warrants another day in the light. Keep shining!