State Of The Nation

Low taxes and inspiration,

are what we need to save our nation,

from poverty and degredation,

stem the tide of immigration,

 

In our surveillance society,

there is little propriety,

 

When will the politicians learn

that money is not to burn,

the wheel of time it turns,

democracy seems spurned,

 

It's true freedom for which we yearn,

 

Punish our politicans for their crimes,

and false submissions,

they lead us to perdition,

in the guise of a worthy mission,

 

Which in truth is socialism.....

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

Socialism is indeed on the horizon, and as we watch each piece of the puzzle being added to complete the plan, it causes my pulse to quicken with thoughts of all that I have feared become reality!
What you propose...lower taxes, politicians made accountable for their actions is part of the solution, but there are far too many who have long planned for destruction of our democratic nation!
And, they are not all in America....as I am sure you already know.
A most appropriate write!...well penned!
Sheila...one who watches the tides of change

[Erotic Goddess]

I really liked this. You have done a great job of putting a serious topic into an easy-to-read rhyme. Thanks for sharing.

xxoxx

[JC]

Great write, as America hits a Trillion in debt!

Excellant flow and meter.


JC

[Katherine Hall]

Interesting stuff--and well worded! You would get along well, I think, with my old fellow newspaper columnist (we wrote a point/counter political column for our school paper last year.)
I like how the last line "Which in truth is Socialism" stands alone at the bottom of the poem--it gives it a stark quality that seems to sum up the message of the entire work. The rhythm is a bit choppy, which may have been your intention the whole time, but for me it was a bit of a distraction from the words themselves. I'm not sure how I would suggest 'fixing' it, because I don't really think the content should be changed, but it is something to watch for in your future poetic exploits.
In all, quite impressive. I look forward to reading more of your work.
~Katherine

[Legion]

"But the state of the union has got him in a constant state of rage..." *

Good write. Good point. This particular stanza seems a bit forced though:

When will the politicians learn

that money is not to burn,

the wheel of time it turns,

democracy seems spurned,"

Perhaps rewrite it or drop it (at least the last two lines).

*That quote is from a similiar piece of disgust with our government titled "The Independent Nation" that I wrote many years ago which is posted on this site. You might find it interesting as well.

[Terry Ellis]

Yes, this is what I'm talkin' about. I wrote a poem that I'm sure you would appreciate. My thoughts exactly. Check out my poem Anguish. Bravo.

[Melon Choly]

Touche' .... this is bound to set off a few people perhaps, but the words are so true, and how nice to see it put in such a nice flowing poem :)