Diary Entry 5

There are only two more days to get this paper off, and I believe Kai is beginning to notice. I don't like the look in his eyes. And I heard him ask Isabelle asking a lot of professional questions about me. She had a very good report to give. She said I slept a good deal in the daytime. Kai knows I don't sleep very well at night, for all I'm so quiet! He asked me all sorts of questions, too, and pretended to be very loving and kind. As if I couldn't see through him! Still, I don't wonder why he acts so queer, sleeping under this paper for three months. It only interests me, but I feel sure Kai and Isabelle are secretly affected by it. Finally! This is the last day, but it is not enough. Kai is to stay in town over night, and won't be out until this evening. Isabelle wanted to sleep with me the sly thing! but I told her I should undoubtedly rest better for a night all alone. That was clever, for really I wasn't alone a bit! As soon as it was moonlight and that poor thing began to crawl and shake the pattern, I got up and ran to help her. I pulled and she shook, I shook and she pulled, and before morning we had peeled off yards of that paper. A strip about as high as my head and half around the room. And then when the sun came and that awful pattern began to laugh at me, I declared I would finish it today! We go away tomorrow, and they are moving all my furniture down again to leave things as they were before. Isabelle looked at the wall in amazement, but I told her merrily that I did it out of pure spite at the vicious thing. 

She laughed and said she wouldn't mind doing it herself, but I must not get tired. How she betrayed herself that time! But I am here, and no person touches this paper but me not ALIVE! She tried to get me out of the room it was too patent! But I said it was so quiet and empty and clean now that I believed I would lie down again and sleep all I could; and not to wake me even for dinner I would call when I woke. So now she is gone, and the servants are gone, and the things are gone, and there is nothing left but that great iron bed head nailed down, with the canvas mattress we found on it. We shall sleep downstairs tonight, and take the boat home tomorrow. I quite enjoy the room, now it is bare again. How those children did tear about here! This bed head is fairly gnawed! But I must get to work. I have locked the door and thrown the key down onto the front path. I don't want to go out, and I don't want to have anybody come in, until Kai comes. I want to astonish him. I've got a rope up here that even Isabelle did not find. If that woman does get out, and tries to get away, I can tie her! But I forgot I could not reach far without anything to stand on! This bed will NOT move! I tried to lift and push it until I was tired, and then I got so angry I bit off a little piece at one corner but it hurt my teeth. Broke two of them actually. Then I peeled off all the paper I could reach standing on the floor. It sticks horribly and the pattern just enjoys it! All those strangled heads and bulbous eyes and waddling fungus growths just shriek with derision! I am getting angry enough to do something desperate. 

To jump out of the f*****g window would be admirable exercise, but the bars are too strong even to try. Besides I wouldn't do it. Of course not. I know well enough that a step like that is improper and might be misconstrued. I don't like to LOOK out of the windows given that there are so many of those creeping women, and they creep so fast. I wonder if they all come out of that wallpaper as I did? But I am securely fastened now by my well hidden rope you don't get ME out in the road there! I suppose I shall have to get back behind the pattern when it comes night, and that is hard! It is so pleasant to be out in this great room and creep around as I please! I don't want to go outside. I won't, even if Isabelle asks me to. For outside you have to creep on the ground, and everything is green instead of yellow. But here I can creep smoothly on the floor, and my shoulder just fits in that long smooch around the wall, so I cannot lose my way. 

Why there's Kai at the door! It is no use, young man, you can't open it! How he does call and shout! Now he's crying for an axe. It would be a shame to break down that beautiful door! "Kai!" I bellowed at him."The key is down by the front steps, under a plantain leaf!" That silenced him for a few moments. Then he said very quietly indeed, "Open the door, my darling!" "I can't," said I. "The key is down by the front door under a plantain leaf!" And then I said it again, several times, very gently and slowly, and said it so often that he had to go and see, and he got it of course, and came in. He stopped short by the door. "What is the matter?" he cried. "For God's sake, what are you doing!" I kept on creeping just the same, but I looked at him over my shoulder. "Kai. I got out, and I'm not going back in." I lace the rope around my neck and stand on the iron bed head. Kai makes a lunge for me but falls flat on his face. I smile at him and step forward. 

SNAP! Isabelle screams. 

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[Kevin Dean]

Thank you with all my heart to those who read this.