A Penny For Her Thoughts - Chapter 1

A cool breeze blew gently through a small grove of cherry blossom trees, scattering their petals throughout the sky. Spring had come and gone and summer was only just beginning the year that I turned eighteen. I had lived my life carefree and full of adventure, but I had always felt as if something was missing. I had tried several times throughout the course of my short life to find something, anything, to fill the void within my heart but I had always failed. No matter what I did, the void within me remained and continued to weigh heavily on my thoughts each and every day. At one point, I had thought that maybe I could have been a twin, but that theory was quickly disproven. After discovering that I was not a twin, I could not think of any other reasons for this void to exist in my life. I had a dysfunctional, but loving, family and amazing friends.

I knew what I was capable of doing and was well aware of the potential that I had to have a wonderful and fulfilling life, but somehow, the feeling of emptiness still remained. I sat alone on a patch of lush green grass, listening to the birds as they sang their cheerful songs in the early afternoon. Butterflies floated through the air effortlessly. Hummingbirds fluttered about, zigging and zagging as they suckled upon the sweet nectar of wild flowers. Bumblebees happily buzzed about, collecting pollen from the blossoms on thickets of scattered berry bushes. Where I should have found peace and tranquility in the midst of nature’s true beauty, I found only a flood of thoughts racing through my mind like a violent wind blowing through my head, knocking my brain about from side to side. Why couldn’t I just have a few moments of serenity without the chaos of my own thoughts interfering?

I tried to calm myself by reminiscing on my childhood. The days when I wouldn’t think twice about doing anything. If it made me smile, if it made me happy, then that was what I was doing; no questions asked, no doubts, no second thoughts. I let out a heavy sigh as I began to wish that my life could be so simple once again. Nothing worried me and, in my mind, everything was always going to turn out alright in the end. I let out yet another sigh, this one a bit softer than the one before. My eyes closed tightly as I held my breath for a few seconds. I felt a tear trickle down my left cheek as I slowly reopened my eyes and exhaled. Suddenly, from a short distance behind me, I heard someone call out to me. In my current state of mind, I really did not want to be in anyone’s company. I simply wanted to be left alone with my thoughts,but I knew deep inside that being left alone with my thoughts was rarely a good idea. I took another deep breath and held it briefly before exhaling in an attempt to regain my composure. When I turned to look behind me, I saw my best friend.

I found it rather strange that she always knew where to find me, even without having had any contact with me in days or even weeks at a time. I quickly wiped my face, making sure that any trails left behind by wandering tears were unable to be seen. Unfortunately, it was pointless. My friend instinctively knew when I had been pondering the vast ocean of thoughts that seemed to constantly linger within every last inch of my mind. Nothing could escape her, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. She looked at me for a moment and said nothing. We both knew that she was going to ask me what it was that weighed so heavily on my mind, just as we both knew that my answer, as it always was, would be, “nothing”. She sat next to me in the grass and, for a while, the two of us continued to silently stare at the falling cherry blossom petals.

“Daisy, I don’t know how to feel anymore. I’ve tried so hard to escape my thoughts and find some form of peace within myself, but all of my efforts have gone down the drain. I just can’t seem to shake this empty feeling inside of me.”

My friend looked over at me, her deep brown eyes slightly misty with tears. Daisy spoke not a single word as she leaned over and hugged me tightly. I welcomed the friendly embrace, though at first I was a bit hesitant. I kept physical contact with others very minimal due to the fact that, in most cases, it made me feel awkward. Daisy was one of the very few people whom I allowed to hug me for any reason at all.

“Cassie, I really don’t know what I can say to make you feel better. You’re my best friend and I hate seeing you like this. Let’s go down town and go to the movies. Maybe it will take your mind off of things for a while.”

I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to go anywhere. In a way, I just wanted to stay right here in the grass and continue pondering my thoughts for the remainder of the day. However, convincing Daisy to let me be alone any longer than I already had been was as close to impossible as the letters “J” and “K” on the keyboard of my laptop. I remained silent, continuing to stare off into the distance watching the petals float ever so elegantly, spinning in circles as they made their way to the ground below. Finally, I let out a light sigh and agreed to go to the movies with Daisy, pushing myself upward to a standing position. We walked a few feet from the grass and turned left, following the pale gray, cracked sidewalk a short distance further until we had reached Daisy’s car. I had walked to this tranquil place earlier in the morning because it wasn’t very far from my small house just outside of the city limits, but Daisy drove into town from her home a few cities over, so we took her car rather than walking clear across town.

Daisy pressed the button on her keychain to both unlock the car doors and disable the alarm just as we were approaching her small, silver sedan. I slid into the passenger seat and fastened my seatbelt while Daisy started the engine. She drove us to a small corner café for lunch before going to the movies. She ordered a toasted club sandwich with chips and I ordered a turkey sub with extra pickles and light oil with salt and pepper. I felt bad for not having too much to say. Any conversational skills that I had seemed to have escaped me. I was literally speechless. I made repeated attempts to clear my mind so that I could enjoy spending time with the woman who had become my best friend over the years in which we had known one another, but I still felt that weight. I still felt empty, like my life had no purpose or meaning whatsoever and I was simply a pawn in some giant chess game. Daisy paid for lunch and we left for the theatre. We stood outside for a few minutes, trying to decide which movie we were going to watch.

I suggested a romantic comedy, but Daisy had her heart set on one movie in particular. She grabbed my arm and drug me up to the ticket booth.

“Come on Cassie, I already picked a movie for us.”

“Daisy, let me pay for the tickets, you already bought lunch.”

“Nope, I got it.”

“Come on Daisy, I’ll get the tickets and we can split a large popcorn.”

“No way! It’s my treat. Besides, Cassie, who else is going to pull you out of this funk you’re in? No one knows you better than I do.”

“I don’t care if you pay for the popcorn, but at least let me buy the tickets.”

“Out of the question! I’m paying and you’re not going to argue with me because you’ll lose! End of story.”

“Gee Daisy! What, are you taking me on a date or something?”

“If that’s what it takes for you to give up and let me pay then, yes! This is a date!”

I chuckled a bit. Daisy’s personality and sense of humor was what had drawn me to wanting to befriend her when we had first met in middle school six years ago. We had been attached at the hip from that day on.

“Two for Zombie Brain Fest please! Cassie, keep your lips zipped, I know you like zombie movies.”

“Well alrighty then! I guess I will just let you do it all, master!”

“Shh! Oh my gosh! What’s gotten into you all of the sudden, miss sassy pants!”

We giggled for a bit. The clerk at the ticket booth looked at us like we were crazy as he handed us the movie tickets. We thanked him with ear-to-ear grins on our faces. Daisy took my hand again, interlocking our fingers together, and we went inside to the concessions stand. I could feel my cheeks turning red as Daisy held my hand tightly in hers. I was hoping that she wouldn’t notice that I was blushing. I had no idea why I was even blushing in the first place. After all, it was only Daisy and she was my best friend. Suddenly, that empty feeling started to fade away and my thoughts turned from a tangled and chaotic mess of emotions to only one thing and that was Daisy. She ordered a large popcorn and turned to ask me what kind of soda I wanted to drink. I just stood at the counter, staring at the menu. She asked me again and I finally told her I would take a cola and apologized for not answering her the first time. After getting the popcorn and drinks, we made our way to the viewing room which was showing “Zombie Brain Fest” and took our seats at the very back of the room near the projector.

During the previews, we whispered to each other about how it funny it was when we weirded out the guy at the ticket booth. She asked me if I was alright, to which I said yes. I knew that she could sense my nervousness. The previews had finally ended. The movie could not have started at a more perfect moment in time. Things had become awkward for me after realizing that I had developed feelings for my best friend. My palms were cold and sweaty, my knees trembled uncontrollably, and I could not seem to keep from staring at the stunningly beautiful woman who sat beside me. Her long caramel colored hair flowing effortlessly over her shoulders, her deep brown eyes that had an uncanny resemblance to the color of freshly brewed coffee, her skin perfectly bronzed with small tattoos on either side of her neck as well as on the insides of both of her forearms. She had a perfect smile, an adorable laugh, and was incredibly soft to the touch.

I felt as though, standing beside Daisy, I was less than average in appearance. I was born with a pasty white complexion and could not tan whatsoever, no matter how long I exposed my skin to sunlight. My hair was just past the middle of my back in length and dark brown in color. My eyes were light brown and, in the right lighting, had a tinge of green throughout the iris and I had only one tattoo which was located just between my shoulder and elbow on my right arm. I forced myself to fixate my attention to the movie. Between the constant groaning and wailing of zombies and the ever-present blood curdling screams of people being eaten alive, I could hear Daisy giggling under her breath. The fact that we both found humor in the otherwise grotesque ventures of brain-eating, undead serial killers was one of the many reasons that I enjoyed being in Daisy’s company. I continued to watch as the graying corpses with exposed bones and tendons devoured their prey. It was getting harder and harder for me to concentrate on the film.

I glanced back over at Daisy and caught her looking at me. There was a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes that I had never seen before. Daisy had dated before and had claimed to have been in love once or twice, but never had I seen her eyes sparkle and her face glow so vibrantly. At that moment, I felt a glimmer of hope coursing through my body that maybe she had feelings for me as well. Unfortunately, the fear of rejection stopped me from even attempting to confess to Daisy that I was falling for her. I quickly returned to the movie and continued watching it until the ending credits began to scroll across the screen in an upward motion.

Author's Note

Not split into chapters yet, this is all I have written of an unfinished project. Looking for constructive criticism and suggestions. I have ideas of my own, but am open to new ideas.

Reviews

[Anna S]

Please continue! I like this character a lot so far, because I am like her. I am not exactly in the place for constructive criticism because I am a new writer, but maybe change up the dialogue so its not so cliché. Like maybe throw in some old inside jokes they had in the mix, or something relating to their relationship as friends ( for now wink wink lol ) But I really enjoyed this.

[Kimberly]

thank you. I'll definitely change up the dialogue, I have plans for future dialogue chunks later on as well as a few plot twists and whatnot.

[Anna S]

That sounds great!