A Coward in Love

Whimsical

He sat yonder,
On lush green meadows
So still, unmoving, a part of the horizon
Reminiscing his ever confound past,
Filled with the cataclysm called Love.

A single girl, he ever loved,
A friendly soul, a dreamy smile
Kindled the fire in his heart she did,
Ever so slightly, ever so fortuitous
For he had fallen in love.

Yearned for her, he did.
Cowardice, his companion,
Confess to her; he never could
Satisfied by watching her, he thought he would.
Yet ignorant, of the impending storm.

He watched one day,
With teary eyes, and a broken heart ,
An unknown man, a familiar girl; walk past him
Arms linked, enjoying the other's company.
Heart broken he was, but could only realize his own folly,

For this was the fate that awaited a coward in love.

Author's Note

A whimsical poem about the fate that awaits a coward in love. Reviews are much appreciated. Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[BThomvanWart]

This was a poem that I could sense, but not feel. If that makes any sense! I understood where you were coming from and I could definitely look through your eyes at the situation. There was a perspective I never considered being something that could be made palpable - to be made into words. I like the fact that you wrote from your perspective and then unintentionally about the feelings of heartbreak. I've read, and have written, poetry that laments the feelings of heartbreak - the feelings of betrayal, pain, anguish - but, I can't recall a poem that focused on how the writer viewed the scenario. Often, the poem would be written about the feelings within the scenario. Good work.

[KingDavid]

Thanks for your opinion @BThomvanWart

[timburtonandme]

I love this, such a sad but relatable piece. Well done.

[KingDavid]

Thanks for the review! ^_^

[Jacob Clifford]

Oh, ouch. This is all too true. I love the way you wrote this.

[KingDavid]

Thanks for the review! ^^

[Bear]

Critique: (Yet ignorant, of the impeding storm) impending
(Heart broken he was) Heartbroken
(Reminiscing his ever confound past) confounding
(A single girl, he ever loved) You need to add a defining word try this "A single girl did he ever loved"

Review: Nice turn of a phrase and a great story line, the moral is well defined and the emotional feelings of hope and loss you convey are masterfully done. I give it 4 out of 5 Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! :~)

[KingDavid]

Thank you for the review! (^_^)_`

[Rachael Lea]

I like the words chosen in order to show what the person is feeling and realizing. This one is very nice. Good job

[KingDavid]

Thanks for the review!

[Willard Wells]

The lose and pain of not speaking your mind is great and losing the one you love is sad. People have to speak their minds and not hold there tongues, cause a rejection will at least tell you the truth and you will not hopefully lose your love. Doing nothing the outcome is not in doubt. Well penned young man.

[KingDavid]

Thank you for taking time off to review my work once again. ^_^

[Ella]

Sad and very relatable to so many people....sitting there wonder if you should or shouldn't and being so disappointed when someone else already did.

[KingDavid]

Thanks for the review!

[Meeks]

Wierd Yoda-like style used throughout. I don't like it, but it will probably make a great trademark later. Don't let that go too easily.

Besides that, a great piece, enjoyable to read. Keep writing, it can only get better.

[KingDavid]

Thabk you for the review. No, I'm not a star wars fan lol. It might have ended up like that accidentally. ^_^

[jesserose99]

I really enjoyed this one, you can feel his devotion to her...and yet he is frozen...and unable to move. This is a fun read because it tells a tale... you need to read to the end to know what happens...to the fate of the coward in love. The flow was really nice too. I can almost feel him on the other side there while watching these two. Very good.

[KingDavid]

Thank you for the review. ^_^

[Nani Mino]

very very interseting keep writing

[KingDavid]

Thank you for the review. ^_^

[Madd-Fictional]

A very moving piece that speaks to the heart of something far worse than unrequited love... unprofessed love.

You did an excellent job here.

[KingDavid]

Thank you for the review ! ^_^