Fire

Some fires, 

Rage at the dawn of day, 

They burn through your pores, 

Turn your fingernails black, 

Burn our bones and brake our backs. 

I didn’t know where 

I was headed, 

As I fell through the furnace 

Of my own self destruction, 

I loved it so much.

I took the petrol 

& poured it over my self worth, 

Lit the match, 

Oh, how I was hell on earth. 

Reviews

[Skye]

I really loved your word choices - they were so specific, they made the imagery much more powerful. A few comments. First, I'm sure you meant 'furnace' and not 'furness' in the third line of the second verse, and maybe you meant 'self-destruction' and not 'self-destruct'? Secondly, all the commas are breaking up the flow of your piece. Not every finished line deserves such a definite pause and within some of the lines there are many commas where there shouldn't be. For example, 'I loved it so, much'. It makes the writing kind of clunky. Otherwise, I loved this piece.

[Kirsty Woodward]

Thank you so much for your comment. It was really helpful. I have made a few edits based on your critique.

[Skye]

Very nice! I look forward to seeing more from you :)

[Jacob Clifford]

Indeed an interesting topic. Very specific word choices and prominent tone. I very much like the implications with the title drawn into the mix.

[Doodley]

Hmm.

Walking through a baptism of fire, one born of our own creation. Self destruction is not entirely uncommon to our species. We can all melt under the pressures of our daily lives. It is the aftermath of such an event that determines the strength of our character. We either walk through the fire, or we burn.
My introduction to your writing, Kirstywood. An interesting piece of writing, with a common theme that we all can relate to. A fine start.

[Kirsty Woodward]

I was surprised when I saw which piece had been reviewed as I've not read this back for a long while.
Anyway, thank you for commenting.

[Doodley]

When a new friend has reviewed one of my poems, i always go to the first piece of work contributed here to get a feel for their style of writing, hence i reviewed this one. I have your RR in my inbox. Waiting for next time.

[David Scott]

I wonder why we do this? Yes, it is a universal phenomena. The why's are probably as varied as the theories out there as well.
Negative energy is still energy... It fills a need, until it doesn't. Fire consumes however. Thankfully, ashes make fertile soil for growth. Here lies our hope I think.
So, if you must, burn it down. I'll bring hot dogs and s'mores. We can plant the future when the embers are cold.
Great poetry. Very youthful voice.

[Pete]

Very dark and powerful. Well done. Thanks for sharing. Keep writing.

[Kirsty Woodward]

Thank you very much.