A Cute Kind Of Crazy
Today was a lovely day. Our plans were made in advance. And
even though I arrived really late, she wasn’t that mad. At least not on the
outside.
I received bad
news today, news of my mother’s hospitalization. But even that could not wreck
my mood too much. I had thought this day out way too many times in my head, going
over every little detail. Being careful of what I would say, all just to ensure
that it would be perfect. We ate at a restaurant and left way too much food
uneaten.
On this
beautiful day we went to the pavilion. One of my favorite places in the world.
It was a place where the wind blew as strong as the ocean’s waves. I took all
the hugs I wanted…needed. But not nearly enough. I was experiencing serenity
like I had never imagined. I hadn’t felt such comfort in…forever. I felt at
home on that solitary ground.
The view of the
mountains set the mood so perfectly. Like an earth sized painting on a canvas
of splendor. It was the beauty of this scenery that was allowing me to conceal
all that I was feeling within.
I sat there,
quietly embracing the moment as she embraced me. Little did she know what was
taking place inside. Thankfully, she didn’t feel my heart palpitating with such
vigor as it does whenever she’s around. She didn’t know how tingly she made me
feel in my special place. She will never know how I feel about her. How can
she? When even I can’t comprehend it. She had it all; my body, my mind, my
heart, my soul, my lust, and for that moment, my trust.
She isn’t
normal. Nothing she thinks, says or does is ever normal. She’s so full of life.
I need her. I need her to keep my life excited. Yes she excites me. She
energizes me. I miss her way too much when she’s gone, but time flashes by when
we’re together. Sometimes I feel like I should tie her up and keep her tucked
away quietly in a small corner of my room so she can never leave again.
I love all her abnormalities. She makes my
kitten purr with all the crazy s**t she says and does. And of all the things
she may be, she is definitely a cute kind of crazy.
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